


Emily's song (Choose Your Own Adventure Dragon age Style)

by Fandora



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Choices, Choose your own romance Dragon age style, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Pregnancy, Romance, Unrequited Love, Weight Issues, inquisitors younger sister has all the fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 18:45:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 45,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4070620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandora/pseuds/Fandora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who would you choose? </p><p> </p><p>Emily Trevelyan is the Inquisitors baby sister. If you asked her to describe herself, she would say too tall, too fat, too average. Coming to Skyhold to visit Evelyn, reconnecting with a sister she hasn't seen in years. Her entire life has been spent, standing in her sister's shadow, to the point that she has always felt inadequate. Now, now her sister is the freaking Herald of Andraste… Really I mean COME ON! Emily has read the letters, heard the tales and now would like to meet the people that her sister holds so dear.  </p><p> </p><p>Her arrival causing a bit of a stir catch, turning the head of a certain Commander Cullen, who she has been crushing on since she heard about him standing with the Champion in Kirkwall. At the same time, she also happens to draw interest from Cullen’s second in command and good friend Captain Rylen.  <br/>Who should she choose, she can’t decide, so you have to?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome to Skyhold Emily

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eltheria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eltheria/gifts).



> Because you have given me so many ideas, and encouragement. This one is for you Eltheria

The four of them had been trapped in the war room for what seemed like hours, they were closing in on Corypheus with the help of Hawke and Stroud, they knew what they have to do, the question was how.

 

Evelyn Trevelyan had been the Inquisitor for almost two years now, she loved the people in this room like siblings, unfortunately, she fought with them like siblings too. 

 

Cullen flicked his marker over on the war table conceding defeat like the king in chess, 

 

“Maker I need a break, we have been going around like this for hours, without any progress, might I suggest, we sleep on it, revisit this tomorrow?” 

 

Evelyn nodded, leaning on her staff. Her leg was still sore from her trek to meet Stroud. “I agree, my baby sister Emily is arriving today, if she hasn't already. I would like to spend some time with her.” 

 

Leliana grinned, “two Trevelyan’s in Skyhold when was the last time you saw her?” 

 

Laughing, remembering the cherubic face of her sibling “I left for the circle when I was 17, she would have been 10, so it's been about 11 years."

 

Josephine tapped her clipboard, Gathering her papers. “I'm sure she's grown into a fine young lady of proper breeding, is she a mage also?” 

 

Cullen looked up at the question, not that it was an issue, but he still liked to keep note of new mages under their roof. 

 

Shaking her head “No she’s, well she's just Emily. In her letter said she wanted to come after the whole Blackwall incident. She wants to see me, to make sure I am OK. She was mad that I took him back after everything, I also think she just wanted a little adventure.” 

 

Cullen snorted at that, rubbing the back of his neck, “well a twenty-one-year-old woman, who's the Inquisitors baby sister, maker help me I'm going to have to put my recruits on short leashes.” 

 

Evelyn grinned at her Commander, “oh I wouldn't worry too much about her, if my father had any say in the matter she can hold her own. We are in for some amazing treats, lord the baskets of sweets she would send to the tower for me Maker, I gained 10 lbs. before I begged her to stop.” 

 

Leliana cocked an eyebrow at Evelyn “10lbs you’re five foot three, I have shoes that weigh more than you, maybe we should get her to fatten you up.” 

 

Evie playfully swatted her arm, “hey now! I'm wiry, but yes, I suspect Emily will have me glad I wear robes. She's battled her weight most of her life, from what my mother has written, that hasn’t changed. Emily takes after my father, larger bone structure ,and her hair is dark in contrast to my light coloring. We have the same eye color, though.” 

 

Josephine grinned, “that green would be quite shocking, with dark hair, plump, or no, commander you are going to need to post a watch outside the barracks.” She teased winking at him. 

 

They agreed to revisit the issue on the war table in three days unless new info came to light. That would give them all a moment to breathe, catch up, and for Evelyn to enjoy her sister’s arrival before the next crisis. 

 

Stepping into Josephine's office, a runner was waiting for them. "Inquisitor, I was sent to tell you, that your sister Emily has arrived. We put her luggage in the guest room that Ambassador Montilyet had prepared. Emily is visiting with Varric, awaiting your arrival." 

 

When the four of them stepped into the main hall to greet her, what they were met with shocked them all. 

 

Standing next to Iron Bull, leaning against the table talking to Varric was an Amazon, clad in leather. She had to be six feet tall if not more, her dark hair hung in soft raven waves caressing the curve of her rounded ass. Two wicked looking daggers strapped to her back, with multiple other ones strapped around both of her thick thighs. 

 

She was quite the impressive looking rogue. A very solid looking woman, with curves that were making the Commander take notice. “Is that one of your sister guards?” 

 

Before Evelyn could answer, The Rogue in question turned around. Cullen couldn't help but openly stare, beautiful green eyes gazed in their direction. 

 

Leliana laughed as she whispered close to the Commanders ear “Josie was right, that green is very shocking with dark hair.” 

 

Watching covetously, as the sisters greeted each other with hugs and tears. Cullen was quite taken with her, when it was his turn to be introduced he didn't want to seem the tongue-tied fool, so he simply said hello nodded, and excused himself. 

 

Emily’s arrival caused quite the stir, she was the talk of Skyhold. Everywhere he went all Cullen heard was her name. However, it wasn't until the next day that the simple knocking on his door ,that Cullen’s life became complicated. 

 

Opening it he was met with the bright beaming fresh face of Emily Trevelyan. Gone were the leathers, in its place a simple dress, with a basket clutched tight in her hands. Her hair was pulled back at the base of her neck with a leather strap. Beaming at him, “Good morning Cullen, we missed you at breakfast, I thought you might like to try my muffins.” 

 

He had been taking a drink of water when she finished that statement, currently he was trying very hard not to spit it everywhere. 

 

Reaching out to take the basket from her. “Thank you, Emily, Evelyn warned us that we were all going to have to let out our armor with you around.” 

 

Her smile didn't quite reach her eyes when she nodded, “Yes, well if I make you all fat then I will fit right in.” 

 

Before he could answer, she continued, “I was talking to Leliana about rogue blade forms, she mentioned you have a book you might lend me?” 

 

Nodding he found the volume right away, handing it to her. 

 

Emily smiled and thanked him, it suddenly felt like she was fleeing, he had no idea why. 

 

As she was about to close the door, he motioned to the basket “Thank you, Emily, they smell wonderful.” 

 

Nodding her eyes on the floor, as she left him with “You are welcome Commander.” Closing his door she wanted to run but her dignity made her hold the book close to her chest and walk with purpose. 

 

Maker, she felt like such an Idiot. Thinking the Commander of the Inquisition forces, the famed Cullen Rutherford, who stood against Meredith with the Champion of Kirkwall. Would be even close to being interested in an overweight child. 

 

She was just the baby sister of the Inquisitor to him, someone he was obligated to be nice too. Now, she had gone and acted the besotted fool bringing him muffins, for fucks sake. Mocking herself under her breath, as she walked back to the main hall with the book, “We missed you at breakfast… here are some muffins … Makers sake Em, stalker much,” she needed a drink. 

 

Emily spent the day getting to know Skyhold, she brushed off her schoolgirl crush on the Commander and moved on, enjoying reconnecting with her sister again. 

 

She was impressed with how entwined everyone's lives seemed to be, how Evelyn knew all their stories and just little personal things about them. 

 

Like the rude man in the stalls sneaks treats to the kids when parents aren't looking, Emily made a mental note to bring him cookies. 

 

She learned a lot about Skyhold, and why Evelyn loved it so much from just talking with the people, small things her sister let slip. 

 

She learned that Josie's favorite color was yellow, and Leliana had a pet nug, recruit Sam was allergic to bees, Sera doesn't like Raisins. 

 

The last stop she knew was a setup, just the way Evelyn introduced them. 

 

Evelyn made sure to tell her that Captain Rylen missed his mother's mince pies. They were small simple facts to everyone else, but important to the people they belong to. She loved that her sister knew so much about them. 

 

Wrapping her arm around Evelyn's shoulder, Emily hugged her into her side. “You have no idea how proud I am of you, and to be your sibling, This…” She spun around, arms splayed out in all directions. “This with everything you have accomplished, it’s amazing. You, big sister, are Amazing.” 

 

They were headed to the stables to meet Blackwall, Emily promised she would have an open mind and listen, she could hear the love in her sister's voice and conceded to give him a chance. 

 

The visit was perfect she understood what Evie saw in the older man, she could see that even though his choices were very wrong, he loved her sister. 

 

When they got up to leave she hugged Blackwall whispering in his ear, “hurt her again, I will slit your throat while you sleep.” He looked shocked and then nodded, his reply for her ears only while they both watched Evelyn talking to Master Denit “You won't have to Milady, I will slit my own.” 

 

Varric invited her to their wicked grace game over dinner. Laughing she waved her fork at him, “I've heard about these games, it’s just an excuse to get me talking.” 

 

Varric clutched his heart “You wound me, Emily! It's simply an evening of drinks with friends wanting to get to know the newest flower to bloom in Skyhold. I may or may not jot things down, some of it might end up in a book, who knows. Also, it's a good way to take your money,” 

 

Emily’s head fell back as she laughed “Master Tethras, I accept your offer and will bring all the sordid tales of Evelyn with me that I remember.” 

 

Grinning at her. “Excellent, Curly you're joining us too. It’s about time you won back some dignity, and if you no show again were moving the game to your office.” Cullen cocked an eyebrow at Varric “Alright, I shall see you there.” 

 

Emily was the last one to arrive, she came striding in, in her leathers. They were all assembled, even Cullen, in their usual room. 

 

Calling out an apology as she walked in “Sorry I'm late, I was sparring with Rylen, and then talking to Cole about, well... I really don't know what it was about, but it was fascinating.” 

 

Bull called to her from the back bar “Em, you drink?” Sitting down in the empty seat she replied, “only on days that end with Y, my friend.” 

 

Bulls roaring laughter rolled through the room “Now, that's what I like to hear.” 

 

He handed her a glass, everyone knew what it was, they had all fallen for it at some point. 

 

She wasn't stupid, she knew everyone was watching for a reason, so when she downed the vile liquid it took all her willpower not to spit it across the table in Cullen’s face. Bull was slapping her on the back laughing “That will put some chest, on your chest.” 

 

She looked down at her very ample breasts, encased in leather, bouncing them in her hands. “I umm, I think I’m good in that department, now how about something drinkable.”

 

Evelyn pointed at her accusingly, “So, Em what the Fade baby sister? How did you get to be like eleven feet tall, with huge boobs, and well I’m short with nothing?!?” 

 

Blackwall interjected, “you have amazing breasts, my love.” Emily smirked “well if you were fat like me, and weighed more than half a pound, they come with the package. I also think of it as a fair play, you got magic and adventures, I got boobs.” 

 

Iron Bull was sitting next to her “You do have nice tits Em, I was enjoying watching you spar earlier with Rylen, I think you knocked him out with your left one.” 

 

Cullen was dying inside, why does every conversation he has with bull end up talking about breasts, and now it was the very ones he had been obsessing over for two days. 

 

He also had watched her sparring earlier, it caused quite a stirring, not only with himself but also with his Captain. Not to mention the recruits were talking, he had to remind them that she was the Inquisitors little sister, and they were to respect her. 

 

She was waving her hand in front of his face “You hooo Cullen eyes up here, I don't mind you looking at them but, blink occasionally.” 

 

Standing up muttering “Maker's breath.” Turning bright red that he had been gawking like an adolescent, Cullen went to grab something stronger. 

 

Evelyn trying to steer the conversation back to non-breast issues, began. “So, baby sister you know I love you, but umm, why are you here?” Emily’s sly smile played on her lips as Cullen sat back down with his drink, she was enjoying unnerving him. 

 

“Well, Big Sister, I turned 21 last month, Our parents have decided I need to marry myself off and start having babies. Seeing as they have given up hope from you, they aren't letting me off the hook. So, I made a deal with them, give me a year to find a husband, if I don't in a year. I will marry one of their choosing, and become the broodmare for some fat Noble.” 

 

Blackwall pulled Evelyn into his lap rubbing her belly, “We could give them a wee one.” Evelyn kissed his lips softly and caressed his face smiling. 

 

Emily quickly began making retching noise, but when Evelyn flipped her off still kissing Blackwall, she just laughed. 

 

More questions flowed, Captain Rylen was even convinced to stay when he came to give a final report before going off shift. Cullen didn't know why but the subtle familiarity between the two, bothered him. Rylen had sat beside her and currently was leaning his arm over the back of her chair, as she told a story about washing frogs. 

 

Leliana was enjoying seeing Cullen react to something for once, stirring the pot a little she interjected 

 

“So, your husband hunting in Skyhold? Are you going to stay the full year with us? OR do we all get to fall in love with you, only to have you run off adventuring?” 

 

Emily took a long drink of her ale, letting it wash over her senses, relaxing a little before she answered the question. “I missed my sister, and in her letters she has told me, allot about all of you. It felt like a good place to start, maybe get some potential suitor suggestions. Honestly, if I'm worthy, I would like to join the Inquisition, but it would be nice to find love in Skyhold.” Her eyes flickered to Cullen, then back to Leliana when she spoke. 

 

Cullen’s fists were clenching under the table, watching Rylen move his hand from the back of her chair to brush a stray hair behind her ear, all the while she was talking about finding love in Skyhold. 

 

Cassandra, was all starry eyed at her, “the pursuit of true love, is there anything more romantic than that?” 

 

Leliana nodded, looking a little lost. “It's a once in a lifetime moment, if you find it, hold onto it tight, Josie we should put the word out that the Inquisitors Younger sister is entertaining suitors, that way they come here and we can assess them, keeping her out of danger.” 

 

Rylen laughed, his thick Starkhaven accent making the girls sigh, “If I dare say, Emily is one Lass that does naugh need protection, she all but bested me in the ring twice today. But aye it would be nice to keep her around,” winking at her.“It's always nice to test your hand against a beautiful woman, makes the sting of defeat hurt less.” 

 

Laughing, probably a little louder than she would have, had she not drank three cups of ale. Emily patted Rylen’s upper thigh, missing the hunger that passed over his face when she left it there longer than she probably intended. Cullen, however, didn't miss it, and he was controlling everything in his body to not snatch it away. Not because he was jealous or anything, but well, it wasn't proper, she was a child. 

 

Cullen finally found his voice, “well I suppose having her meet suitors here wouldn't hurt, as long as it doesn't interfere with our objective of Corypheus. This way, we can make sure they have her best interests in mind, that is of course if that's what you want Emily? ” 

 

Bull didn't miss much, Ben Hassrath training was in his blood he saw the two cocks swinging in front of Emily, but for some reason, she didn't see them. Never one to miss causing a little chaos, “So, Em, I noticed quite a few of the recruits very interested in you this afternoon. I could introduce you to the men if you want?” 

 

She truly seemed shocked, "in me?" Laughing, more than a little drunk now. Her hand resting on Bulls arm “They were probably just marveling at how the Inquisitor could have a sister so opposite from her.” 

 

Bull saw the pain in her eyes, he knew this could go very badly very fast, he needed to throw himself on the blade that was about to slice open wounds. 

 

His voice taking on the playful quality it held so often “Soooo Em, Can I walk you back to your room? If you want, you can even ride the bull.” Winking at her as everyone in the room shouted, “NO!” Cullen and Rylen actually stood up, Rylen’s hand was on the hilt of his blade. 

 

Evelyn looked at Bull, the smile in her eyes conveying that she saw through him as she mouthed the words “Thank you.” 

 

Cullen saw the opportunity to separate her from Rylen, offering Emily his hand. "Might I escort you, back to your rooms?” 

 

Rylen was about to protest, but the look his Commander gave him, had him holding his tongue. Instead, he reminded her of their rematch in the morning, he had some moves he wanted to show her, that would help her use her height to her advantage. 

 

Emily nodded, patting Rye's shoulder as she accepted Cullen's offer following him out, like the little sister she was.

 

It was a beautiful evening, the air held a crispness to it, the moon was a bright sliver in the sky the stars dotting across the black canvas. Wrapping her arm around his, he felt at ease with her as they took a long way back. Maybe it was the ale or all in his head, but Cullen felt like he had been somehow taken out of consideration before he was ever in it. 

 

Holding her door open for her, he grabbed her wrist as she was about to walk, though. When she turned to look at him her smiling green eyes locked on his golden ones. 

 

“Emily, don't take my being a Gentleman as disinterest or ineptitude.” With that, he brought the inside of her wrist to his lips pressing a soft warm kiss to her pulse. Slowly releasing her hand, he nodded "good night." Turning he headed to his room, smiling knowing he left her there staring after him. 

 

After Cullen and Emily left, Rylen excused himself, making an excuse about needing to walk the ramparts before bed. They all knew he was going to be watching the Commanders door to see when he returned, and if it was alone. 

 

Bull shook his head, “how can a woman, like that not know her worth? And I don't mean just in looks, although her, in her those leathers Fuuuuck... But, I mean the whole package. She has the two most powerful men in the Inquisition falling over themselves for her attention and she's oblivious.” 

Evelyn reached out putting her hand over his “thank you for that back there.” he just winked at her “any time boss.” 

 

Leliana was the one who spoke her voice soft tipped with knowing “She has stood in your shadow her entire life, heard the stories. All she sees is, not you, when she looks in the mirror. In her eyes, she will always be too tall, too fat, and most importantly not you.” 

 

Evelyn sat back in Blackwall’s lap. “So what do we do? Should we find suitors for her? I don't want to let my parents marry her off to some noble and be trapped. She should marry someone of her choosing.” 

 

Varric pointed to the door, “Inquisitor, I don't think that, will be a problem.” 

 

Sera found her in the kitchens, in her sleeping clothes. Flour in her hair as she rolled out pastry, the smells coming from the kitchen were making her stomach growl. “Eh, I came to pinch a cookie, or you know six. I didn't expect to see you in here?” 

 

Emily grinned, “you caught me, I bake when I can’t sleep, I had this crazy idea to make Cinnamon rolls for everyone for breakfast, some with raisins and some without.” 

 

She winked at Sera "I love how huge the kitchen is here, the cooks let me take over at night as long as I clean up my mess, but I can bake 300 at once." 

 

Sera looked around, “Maker's balls, are you the one making all the pastries here the last few days?” 

 

Emily nodded “I snuck in the first night and the cooks were shocked in the morning when they came to fire up the ovens, this way they leave them banked for me and they get to sleep in an extra hour because the ovens are lit and I've made part of breakfast. Everyone wins.” Sera nodded “I know why I'm awake but oye, after all, that ale, you should be sound asleep. Oh, what's these over here?” 

 

Looking up Emily blushed “Captain Rylen said he missed his mother's baking, so I thought I would make him something from home.” 

 

Sarah laughed teasingly “Ehh, you sweet on him then? He seems to like you.” 

 

Blushing as she wiped the back of her hand over her forehead smudging flour across her face. “The Captain isn't sweet on me, he’s just a nice man, being courteous to his Inquisitors awkward baby sister.” 

 

Taking a bite out of a nonraisin cinnamon roll, moaning obscenely as it melted on her tongue. “Right not interested that’s why the man who I've never seen outside the sparring ring or barracks. Came to give the Commander a report he never has before. Top that off with, staying sitting next to you socializing with everyone. Something else he's never done. Huh, it's a day of bloody firsts then innit.” 

 

Emily rolled her eyes, "OK Sera if you're going to be in here I need your help.” 

 

She handed her thick clothes to pull stuff out of the ovens. “We work in tandem, going down the line pulling them all out, then put the last batch in the same way.” 

 

Nodding her agreement, the girls worked like a well-oiled machine, the kitchen smells were amazing. 

 

Emily had just enough time to run to her room, getting dressed for the day before she needed to take the last batch of rolls out of the oven, relinquishing the kitchen for the rightful staff. 

 

Walking back in her face washed, hair pulled back sporting a tunic and breeches with knee high leather boots she was stopped short. Spotting him in the kitchen, the Captain was standing there. He wasn't in his armor yet, curly dark hair falling in his eyes looking amazing. Leaning casually against the counter filled with the evidence of her insomnia, arms crossed a lopsided grin on his face as he greeted her. 

 

He waved his hand at her creations “Lass is there a reason you do naugh sleep?” 

 

Fear flashed in her face, she quickly tamped it down laughing. “Just the man I needed to see.” Handing him a basket full of mince tarts. The shock on his face was well worth the effort it took to make them, the moan of pleasure when he bit into one had her flushed. 

 

Putting the basket down he took her hands, “Lass you have no idea how much this means to me, that you would… that you.” 

 

He leaned in just about to kiss her when she panicked and ran to the ovens tossing him a towel shouting “help me get them out!!” 

 

They rushed, cursing at singed fingers, but with all the rolls safely on the counter ready for serving, she was able to breathe, leaning one hip against the counter, facing him. 

 

He was a patient man, when she was unoccupied once more he brushed the flour off her face her eyes fluttered closed leaning in, just as his lips were about to touch hers the kitchen door opened and the cooks came in. 

 

Emily jumped back like a scalded cat, Rylen uttered a curse she didn't understand as he picked up the basket nodding to her. “Thank you Lass tis means the world. Do naugh forget our sparring date.” 

 

She was giddy when she went on her morning hike for Josephine's flowers, she had learned that the ambassador liked a special Lily that grew in high altitudes. In her adventuring around the outside of Skyhold, she had found a field of them, and attempted to make sure Josie had some for her desk. 

***********

Her first month at Skyhold flew by, she was so in love with everything about it. The freedom, the people the place. She had worried she would just be the Inquisitors sister here, but she was quickly making a name for herself as a fierce rogue, and a temptress in the kitchen. 

 

She laughed at the playful groans during meals when her creations were spotted. 

 

Her days have been filled with so much everyone making time to be with her, broadening her horizons showing her new things. She loved the chess death matches with Cullen in the gardens, the morning hikes with Rylen for Josie's flowers, baking with Sera in the middle of the night. Learning to carve from Blackwall, reading with Dorian in the Library, surprise lunches with Cullen, teaching Cole how to dance. Drinking with Bull and the Chargers listening to bawdy tales. Sparring with anyone that would fight her, usually Rylen but on occasion Cullen would put her to task. She had even experimented in the kitchen, creating a special easy to carry bar for the soldiers, giving them energy and a good food source when they couldn't make a fire or were just too damn tired.

 

This was fast becoming home to her, she spent time with Evelyn, but she had created her own niche, most people forgot she was “just the baby sister” Here she was alive. 

 

Emily was in the kitchens dancing around in her cut off trousers and an old ratty tunic no bra band, there was no need, Sera was out with her sister on a mission. She was surprised when Rylen opened the kitchen door, joining her. 

 

He was standing there in simple clothing, trousers, and a linen tunic, he had bathed since she saw him last, the dirt from the mission he had been on for a week was washed away gone was the warrior, before her, stood the man. 

 

“Emily, lass I have a favor to ask. I sent a letter to my mother telling her about how you baked mince tarts for me, and she sent me a recipe.” Wiping her hands on her tunic, she held them out, “here Captain leave it with me, and I will make it tomorrow for you.” 

 

He shook his head, “the favor I ask Lass is, you teach me how to make it.” She gifted him with a smile, a true smile, one that reached her eyes, nodding. “Alright, well how about you help me tonight with simpler stuff, and tomorrow I will show you this.” Grinning he rolled up his sleeves, “I am in your hands Lass, use me as you wish.” 

 

Her outfit was killing him, he took every opportunity to touch her, even licking her cheek playfully when she smeared honey on it by accident. Her tunic, he didn't know if she was aware that it was pretty much see through, her large brown nipples were very visible. Maker those breeches, her rounded ass kept teasing him whenever she bent over.

 

The two of them had far too much fun baking honey butter croissants, he insisted that they actually serve the tables together that morning. Shocking the men when he told them how he helped, taking some ribbing when they pointed out the difference between his and hers. 

 

Evelyn and her entourage had arrived very early in the morning but were all present at breakfast and duly impressed. Bull never missing the opportunity to tease “baking lessons, is that what the kids are calling it now?” Emily stuck her tongue out at him. 

 

Cullen was glaring at Rylen when the man offered him a croissant. His gaze softening looking at Emily, “Emily, amazing as always but don't you ever sleep?” He didn't miss the haunted look that flashed on her face, he knew someone affected by bad dreams when he saw one. Catching her hand as she moved by him, his voice low so only she could hear, “if you ever want to talk about it, or need company, I'm somewhat of an insomniac myself.” She squeezed his hand, nodding her thanks.

 

She was playing cards, laughing with everyone. Her sister was absent saying she needed to slog through some paperwork before she and Blackwall could have an evening in. 

 

Which was why no one expected the entrance she gave them. Everyone in the room jumped, when the door to their game room was slammed open by magic. Evelyn   
walked in waving a letter in her hands shouting. 

 

“You ran away two weeks before you were to wed, mother said you made up some lie about your intended and you refused to marry him. Making our parents the laughingstock of Ostwick, what in the fade were you thinking?!?” 

 

Emily stood towering over her sister all eyes on them. “So, when's it then, you’ve condemned me without hearing my side. I never lied to you, by the way, I told you the truth. I made the deal with our parents, that I would return to their shackles in a year if I was unwed. I had hoped you would be on my side, but I see that if you're not actively bedding them you don't give someone the benefit of the doubt.” 

 

Evelyn flinched at the barb. Cullen walked up and snatched the letter from her hand reading it. Rylen stood there with his arms crossed ready to intervene if Emily needed it. 

 

All the while Evelyn continued her rant. “You will return to Ostwick at once, and keep your obligations, you accepted his proposal, Mother said she was shocked because you were so in love with him. Maker Emily, this is just like you. ” 

 

Emily spun on her sister anger and desperation filling her, “Just like me? Just like me. What you know about me, wouldn't fill a teacup. YOU are just like them." 

 

Emily was pointing to herself as she shouted, “I, accepted no proposal, I accepted no betrothal. I was a burden to them, an unremarkable child who just happened to be the sister of the Inquisitor. They banked on your fame, all but selling me off to whoever would raise their status the most. Not once, did they ever ask me, they never cared enough to make sure I was even safe. Love, that’s laughable I had never even heard of the man.” 

 

She shook off her sister's hand on her arm walking to the window looking out into the abyss as she spoke remembering. “When you left for the circle, I cried every night, maker I missed you so much, I made myself sick. I found comfort in bringing you muffins, little things from home till you told me it was foolish and didn't want them anymore. It was made very clear that I would never be as good as you, I was second-best, the second choice. Numerous times they would say why couldn't you have been the mage?" 

 

She spun facing her sister tears coursing down her face, "Do you even know who they betrothed me to? Did you even care to find out why I left? No, because to you, our parents are never wrong. What they didn't tell you is I would rather die than ever marry that man. At his demand, they sent me to live with him a month before the wedding, I went willingly. Foolishly thinking this would be wonderful. This man wanted me, we would have a family and I would have my own life, be a good wife. I was FUCKING EXCITED, I lasted a week before I escaped him." 

She screamed the word again “ESCAPED him, Evelyn! Does that sound like love, to you?!?! I had to run in the middle of the night from a man I was supposed to marry. Fleeing to the people I had hoped would protect me, only to be told I had to go back.”

 

Ripping her tunic over her head, the entire room gasped in horror. There for all to see were four fresh pink scars marring her skin, Cullen knew lashes from a barbed whip when he saw them. 

 

“This was the least of what he did to me, and I endured it. Thinking, if I'm good if I don't make him mad if I don't give him a reason." 

 

Her voice going flat as she continued “When he raped me I knew I had to get out, so I fled. You make me go back to him, hear me now, I will be gone by morning before that ever happens.” 

 

Evelyn was crying, pleading with Emily, “Maker, why? Why, didn't you tell them? I'm sure our parents.” 

 

Emily cut her off snorting in disgust, pulling away, “Mothers exact words were, some men have unusual tastes and I was just a nervous bride. I needed to learn my place, in time I would learn how to please him, and he wouldn't need to punish me. She even pointed out that it was only 4 lashes. They said I was lying about the rape, being dramatic because I am still intact.” 

 

She watched the horror cross their faces, as they realized just how she had been violated. 

 

Her laugh was bitter, her tears flowing freely. “He was a smart man, he made sure I would be a virgin for his purpose on our wedding night.” 

 

Everyone in the room was shaking with rage, Cullen’s knuckles were white on his sword. Bull finally spoke very matter of factly. “So who’s the man we need to kill Em?” 

 

Emily just shook her head, choking back a sob she covered her mouth with the back of her hand, hating that she was made weak by him again. Rylen grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her into his arms, rage flashing in his eyes, “Lass who did this?” 

 

Leliana walked in behind them all, she had taken it upon herself to find out the facts after Evelyn received the letter. She answered Rylen’s question for Emily “Gascard Dupuis” 

 

Josephine gasped, dropping her cup watching in distress as it shattered on the floor, Varric cursed recognizing the name. 

 

Evelyn looked at them “Who’s Gascard Dupuis?” 

 

Varric spat out the answer, “a minor Orlesian noble in Kirkwall that Hawke allowed to live. A known blood mage, he's a recluse and even the whores in the Blooming Rose won't accept his money anymore.” 

 

Josephine added, “there have been the most unnatural rumors at court, about his bedroom habits.” 

 

Pulling her tunic back on, she looked her sister in the eye as she spoke. “I can assure you they aren't just rumors.” Snatching her tunic off the floor, her dignity shattered. Her refuge destroyed, now that they knew she was damaged and dirty. She couldn't stay, pushing open the doors she ran to pack her things. 

 

The room was in chaos, Cullen was livid, hissing at Evelyn “how could you? How could they?!” Evelyn just sank down into a chair lost in her head, all the information rolling through whispering. “Maker, what have I done?” 

 

Cullen took over “Varric, you know where we can find Dupuis?” 

 

Varric nodded. Cullen pointed to Bull “You and Varric take as many men as you need, bring him back here for judgment if he gives you a moment of trouble. Kill him.” 

 

Rylen was banging on her door. “Open up Lass, or I will be forced to kick it in, and you do naugh want that.” 

 

She conceded and opened the door for him, she was packing. Nodding at her bag “you going somewhere, lass?” 

 

She was frantic stuffing things in her bags “I can't stay here, now that everyone knows, I have to go.” 

 

He nodded, “OK, where are we going?” Her hand stopped mid-air, “why would you come with me?” 

 

Rylen couldn't help but laugh, “you're kidding right Lass? In case you have naugh noticed, I kinda like ya Emily.” 

 

He pulled her into his arms making her stop, stroking her hair while she fought against his chest. Kissing the top of her head he just kept saying “you are safe and you are loved.” Over and over, until she gave up and clung to him, sobbing into his chest. He held her swaying slowly, that's how Evelyn found them.

 

She cleared her throat, Rylen looked at the Inquisitor his eyes full of rage, refusing to relinquish the girl in his arms when she pulled away to face her sister. The two women looked at each other simultaneously started sobbing, the I'm sorry's, I didn't know’s as they clung to each other like they were drowning, in a sense they were. He just hoped that the two of them would both be OK after this. 

 

A week passed they were all making preparations for something they were codenaming “Here Lies the Abyss” forces were moving out en mass she had begged her sister to let her help, but it was decided she needed to stay in Skyhold and help defend. If this Mission went south, the Inquisition would need her desperately to keep it going. 

 

Bull and Varric returned late evening just as the sun was setting with a prisoner in tow, someone Emily wasn't expecting to see ever again. He was suddenly in shackles in the very courtyard she was sparring in, Rylen had to grab her, holding her up. His lips at her ear whispering soothing words, all the while she reeled from the betrayal and defilement of her sanctuary. It took three days to ready the judgment, in those three days she felt lost. 

 

Cullen was walking by her room when he heard her screaming, he didn't think he just reacted kicking open her door with a heavy booted foot and drawing his sword. She was writhing in bed her covers choking her, even the act of kicking in her door didn't pull her out of the nightmare. He quickly closed the door behind him to save her dignity, shedding his armor as fast as he could, leaving him in light trousers and a tunic. He pulled her into his arms and rocked her, singing to her softly an old Ferelden ballad his mother had sung to him. 

 

When she finally pulled herself from her dream, she thought she was dreaming again. Blinking she gazed up at him “Cullen?” his lips pressed to her forehead as he rocked her in his arms. Her hand reached up and caressed the side of his face brushing back an errant curl, she was naked in his arms. There was zero blood in his brain, this woman in his arms would literally be the death of him. She clung to him her breast pressing into his chest his hands on her hip he needed there to be less skin or he was going to lose what thread of control he had. Tucking her back into bed he held her, his face pressed into her hair, staying with her they both slept dreamless sleep till dawn. 

 

It was Cullen who got her to understand why this needed to be done. Why He, not her sister had brought him her. 

 

When the Inquisitor was sitting in Judgment, the cocky bastard demanded that he face his accuser and name her for the slut she was. It was Emily’s voice that stilled Cullen’s sword, standing in her leathers, daggers strapped to her thighs and back, she spoke with the heart of a champion, Maker he was so proud of her. 

 

All of Skyhold gasped as she stood before her new family she told them of his abuse, things that she hadn't spoke of, things that made Evelyn want to vomit. Emily did it with the poise of the Noble born woman she was. Looking out in the crowd as she spoke, expecting to see condemnation like she had on her parents faces. Instead, she saw shock and dismay but more importantly she saw belief, they believed her. 

 

When she was done talking she walked over and stood next to her sister. The hall was quiet until one of the recruits stood up and asked to be heard. “Your worship, there isn't a person in this room that at this moment wouldn't gladly slit his throat if you but gave the word. Emily has become one of us we love and protect our own, but I humbly ask you not to pass judgment on this man.” The room erupted in shouts of disbelief at the recruits words, Cullen beat his fist on the table to gain order in the room. 

 

Evelyn looked at the young man “You don't want me to judge the man who tortured and raped my sister, may I ask why?” Cullen spat out “choose your words wisely, recruit.” 

 

The recruit took a deep breath and locked eyes with Emily, she stepped forward and took the young man's hands helping him speak. “I too suffered at the hands of an abuser, much like Emily did, and I'm not saying he shouldn't be judged. I'm saying not by you.” His eyes darted back and forth from Emily to Evelyn. "Respectfully your worship, I ask you to give Emily, the closure that I was allowed. I ask on her behalf, let her judge the creature before you, let her take back the power he stole from her, let her rob him of his power, as she decides his fate. Then, she might find comfort in the control once more." 

 

Emily hugged the young recruit, and kissed his cheek thanking him. 

 

Evelyn looked to her sister nodding, “it's yours, your choice, his life is in your hands. I can pass judgment or you can, either way, the power is yours.” 

 

Emily nodded, walking up to the man on his knees before them all, she knelt in front of him raising his head wincing at the swollen eyes and broken nose he had suddenly developed. “Gascard, you will never know how truly excited I was to be your wife, how I looked forward to raising our children and building a life we could be proud of. Instead, you gave me a nightmare that I relive every time I close my eyes. I see you standing beside my bed with a knife as you threaten to kill me if I screamed or resisted. Today Gascard you will never hurt another living soul, I Emily Alexandra Trevelyan, in the name of the Inquisition condemn you to die by my hand. Take him to the courtyard.” 

 

He screamed at her as he was dragged away, “you viperous bitch, I should have finished skinning you alive like I wanted to.” 

 

Evelyn flicked her wrist, his bottom jaw shattered making his speech garbled noises. “Well that's enough of that, shall we take out the trash my dear?” Hand in hand, they followed the crowd. Emily stood, daggers in hand and addressed all of Skyhold 

 

“Gaspard Dupuis, for your torture and rape of myself and Maker, only knows how many others I condemn you to die, May the Maker have mercy on your soul.” With that she stood behind him and ended his life, wiping her blades off on his jacket, she stepped over the body, holding her head high walking away. 

 

It wasn't until she rounded the corner out of sight, her body betrayed her, knees giving out she vomited into the dirt. Cullen was the one who found her, holding her hair rubbing her back until she was done. 

 

He helped her to her feet, ferreting her unseen through Skyhold to his quarters, locking all the doors in his office. Cullen didn't say a work he just held her while she sobbed. His heart was breaking with every tear, but he knew she needed to do this, to heal, to move past it. After the sobbing softened to a few stuttering gasps, he helped her upstairs to his bedroom. 

 

She sat cross-legged on his bed, watching him slipped out of his armor, she grinned “I don't see you in just clothes very often Commander, you, you are one well put together man.” 

 

Laughing "uh, thanks?” Handing her a drink he joined her sitting with his back against his headboard his arm resting on his bent knee, holding his glass. 

 

Watching her, he seemed contemplative on what to do, she took a sip of the smooth liquor, the alcohol and his words washed over her in comfort. “I know this isn't exactly proper, but it's this or the floor downstairs, you have nothing to fear from me Em.” She smiled, putting her glass on the floor, walking over to his wash basin, her eyes met his in the mirror washing her face taking a deep breath, picking her glass up as she rejoined him. “That's the first time you've called me Em.” he nodded “I suppose it is, I’m told I tend to be rather stuffy and proper, if you haven't noticed.” She giggled a real honest to maker giggle and pushed on his knee with her toes. “You Proper…pfft, perish the thought Commander.” 

 

He wiggled her big toe with his fingers smiling at her, looking up through his eyelashes. “I want to share something with you I have never told anyone, something I'm not proud of, Maker it haunts me to this day.” Cullen took a deep breath and told her what really happened when the Ferelden circle fell. 

 

She crawled up his bed resting her head on his shoulder, cupping the side of his face with her hand she needed to touch him to comfort him, let him know he was not alone. When he was done, she traced his lips with her finger caressing his scar she whispered “Thank you.” He kissed her palm before holding it in his hand. Together they just laid in each other’s arms on his bed, holding hands looking at the stars and talking. He learned a lot about the real Emily Trevelyan that night, and Maker he liked everything about her. 

 

They talked long into the night finally she yawned, “Maker, we, both need at least a little sleep.” She bid him good night telling him not to bother getting up, he was comfy in bed already. 

 

He was floored by her innocence in some things, when she straddled his hips and hugged him, kissing the tip of his nose telling him what a great friend he was, he almost died. To her it was just an innocent hug, to him, Maker he wanted to grind up into her, making her his.

 

She was crossing the middle of the courtyard when she heard the shout out from the watch, “5 riders approach!” Standing to the side, grinning when Rylen dismounted and came running to her sweeping her in his arms. “Maker I heard!! I came as soon as I could!” He was smoothing back her hair, “my brave lass. Tis truly over then?” She nodded, he searched her eyes, “was it your first one lass?” 

 

He didn't have to clarify what, she just nodded, he rubbed her back as he asked, “Did ya throw up, I threw up after I took my first life.” 

 

Laughing out loud, then quickly covering her mouth, to quiet it, she nodded. 

 

“Cullen found me behind the wall retching, he helped me get cleaned up and hid me until just now. Imagine the Commander of the Inquisition babysitting the Inquisitors sister after she vomits on herself, but he was a good sport about it, and a good friend.” 

 

Rylen cast a glance to Cullen’s door, nodding as he hugged her tight, “aye a good friend indeed. So, are we baking tonight? Or can I convince you to sleep?” 

 

She smiled wrapping her arm around his waist. “I've had this special dough fermenting all day, we can do both if we hurry.” 

 

They were waiting for their last batch of chocolate pinwheels to come out of the ovens. She was sitting on the counter dangling her feet, flour in her hair and a smudge of chocolate on her face. 

 

Rylen was trying to point out where it was so she could wipe it, and it wasn't working, eventually he just licked his finger and wiped it off. Before he could pull his hand away, she captured his wrist and sucked his thumb. 

 

Any control he jokingly had was all lost, in that moment, pulling her against him. His lips on hers, his fingers in her hair, she tasted like the spices they had used and chocolate. 

 

All he could think of was how much he needed her, she responded to him with soft moans. Still sitting on the counter she was able to wrap her legs around him, pulling him closer. 

 

His hands frantic pulling up her tunic exposing her bare skin unsnapping her breast band, when they tumbled into his hands and he moaned. “Sweet Andraste you have no idea how long I've wanted to touch your breasts.” 

 

Looking into his eyes she took both his hands in hers and placed them directly on them squeezing, making him touch her, as her head fell back. 

 

This time, it was her turn to moan. 

 

His mouth was still ravishing hers, tongue thrusting into her caressing hers as his fingers massaged her breasts. 

 

Her hands found the bottom of his tunic and were running over the bare skin of his back. When they found the front of his breeches. He had to pull away panting, stepping back, his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath. “Maker’s Breath Em if I don't stop now I will shame us both, Andraste’s tears I'm fifteen years older than you, and I'm behaving like a rutting school boy.” 

 

She opened her mouth to protest when he kissed her slowly pressing his forehead to hers “Emily, I’m in love with you. I don't want you just once, I refuse to have our first time, your first time be a quickie on the kitchen counter waiting on pastries, no matter how good they are. When I get back from Adamant, we will see what this is then. You are worth so much more than I can ever offer you, but Maker help me, I will try to be worthy of you.” 

 

After the kitchen was ready for the day he walked her to her door. Pulling her into him kissing her deeply pressing her into the door as she grappled for the handle to let him in. Holding onto the door frame he knew he would be lost if he crossed that threshold. Laughing when she tried to pull him in, “You, my Lass are a bad influence.” Kissing the back of her hand turning to leave, stopping to adjust himself, making her giggle behind him. Watching his magnificent ass, when he walked away from her. 

 

Stripping down crawling into bed, she's slept naked for as long as she can remember, always getting too hot at night. This night her fingers have a mind of their own, slowly dipping a finger into her slick flesh she cries out, rubbing her clit with her fingers furiously. Back arching of the mattress as she thrashes, she's been on a hair trigger all night ever since he was touching her breasts. all she wanted was to feel him inside her, to look into his eyes as she came. Working her hand faster her hips shaking as his name is torn from her throat, falling back exhausted she has the first dreamless sleep she's had in months. 

 

Rylen made it to his room barely, twice he almost went back. But he promised himself he would make it special for her, for them. Something they could tell their children and grandchildren about, well maybe not the actual act but, the thought put into it. He slammed and bolted the door to his room dropping his pants he stood there in the middle of his room fisting his cock, he had to brace himself on the wall as he pumped his shaft, it didn't take long he had almost come in his trousers twice. Shouting her name as his release found him, he took himself three more times before he felt even a little in control, falling into bed he slept. 

 

It was the day before a huge mission, almost all the inquisition forces were going, scouts had come back with some knowledge of what they faced at Adamant, but a lot could change over the course of getting there. 

 

Rylen hated the thought of leaving her behind, he had so much to do before tomorrow, but he needed to make sure he saw her before he left. 

 

Everyone, even those not going had jobs to do, to help the forces. Emily had been making her bars for the troops long three-day march to Adamant. 

 

People had finally stopped treating her like she was made of glass, and everything seemed to be back to normal. Rylen had sent her a note asking her to make time to see him off tonight, have dinner with him. 

 

Cullen was leading the troops tomorrow so he had come by to ask her to stop by his office later, probably with some hold the fort pep talk and instructions.

 

She felt like she was playing them both, which was ridiculous because Cullen, other than that one night when she first got here, had never shown any interest in her at all. Other than as a good friend, he always treated her very brotherly.

 

Emily opened Cullen’s door and slipped in the back, he was giving final instructions to the men, Rylen included. 

 

Ry looked at her puzzled when he saw her, she held up a basket and he nodded, remember she had mentioned the Commander needed to see her. 

 

Standing there she watched Cullen finish his task, making sure they were all ready for tomorrow. When they were dismissed Rylen winked at her as he walked out. Cullen closed the door behind them, leaning against it. “There is always something more, isn't there?” 

 

Emily grinned “I bring treats, do you have time for tea?” 

 

His hand in the middle of her back as he pointed to his desk, “for you, I will make time.” 

 

She cleared books off a chair and they sat at his desk chatting idly. She finally brought up the elephant in the room. “So, tomorrow is kind of scary, so much of my new family, people I love are going to be marching off into Maker knows what. I hate that I'm being left behind,” She held up a hand when he went to protest. “I understand why, but I still don't have to like it.” 

 

Standing up he pulled her with him into his arms, “Dance with me?” 

 

She grinned and moved with him to music only they heard, “So little birdies have told me, you, and my Captain are pretty close?” 

 

She nodded “I have been teaching him to bake, but yes he did kiss me yesterday, and I kissed him back.” Cullen nodded spinning her before pulling her back into him tightly, “is it serious?” 

 

Emily stammered “I don't know yesterday was my first kiss, ever. To be honest, when I first got to Skyhold, I had a crush on you so bad." 

 

Blushing as she continued. "I had read all about the Knight-Commander of Kirkwall who stood with the champion.” Giggling she rested her head on his shoulder, “I think I was half in love with you.” 

 

Spinning her again, this time, he pulled her in and dipped her, his lips against her ear as he spoke, “and now? I told you once before don't mistake my being a gentleman for disinterest. I seem to be a little late to the party, and I haven’t made my intentions clear, so let me clarify now. I’m in love with you, I have been for longer than I care to admit, and it's only grown as I’ve gotten to know you.”

 

He spun her again in his arms as they danced, he continued with his profession of feelings. "Tomorrow we both leave, and you will have three weeks to yourself, to decided who you want to be with. Rylen is a good man, I won't disparage him, but then again so am I. I also know what I want. In case I haven't made myself clear Emily, what I want is you, naked, in my arms, in my bed, entwined in my life, but you have had too many people making decisions for you. I won't be another. I suspect both of us are clambering for your attention today, I'm the ass for doing this to you now, but if there is even a chance, then I’m willing to take it." 

 

He spun her again, before pinning her to the wall, leaning in his lips inches from her. “Em, tell me to go, tell me you don't want me. Tell me you choose Rylen, you don’t want this, and I will stop.” 

 

Her mind was reeling, here stood the man she had been in love with for years telling her, he was hers just say the word. Then there was Ry, the last few weeks had been wonderful, she felt a connection with him. 

 

She felt his body move against hers. He claimed her lips forcefully, at first, she hesitated then opened to him willingly, he moaned and pulled her against him, his hands on her hips, hers around his neck. Their tongues lashing against each other tasting touching, Maker he wanted to do much more. 

 

Kissing his neck, her voice soaking into his brain “Cullen?” He nodded into her shoulder, he didn't want to but, he knew she had to make the choice, and if she chose him he wouldn't share ever, once he had her. 

 

When she left his office, her lips still swollen from his stubble she dashed into Solas’s room calling up “Leliana I need Tea time.” 

 

She called down “I will be right there, I’ll grab Evelyn.” Emily ran to Josie’s office thankfully Cassandra was there, Emily blurted out “I need Tea!!” 

 

The five women locked the door to Josie's apartment and when everyone had a cup they were looking at Emily expectantly, finally, she just blurted it out. “I think Cullen and Rylen are in love with me, what do I do?” 

 

Leliana laughed putting her cup down “Maker you just figured that out, they have both been that way since you arrived.” 

 

Emily was shocked “but, but who do I pick?” they discussed it back and forth, for every good quality Cullen had, Rylen had a similar one. 

 

Dorian knocked on the door “I know you hens are in there, I heard the call to tea, and I’m devastated that I wasn't included.” 

 

Emily let him in, quickly they filled him in on the drama, of the past month. 

 

Flopping back on the chaise her hands on her stomach “Maker, I have been in love with Cullen for the better part of two years now, but am I in love with him, or the man that is in my head? Although the reality is a pretty awesome guy and a DAMN fine kisser. Then there is Rylen, Maker he is just as sexy, but… he’s so much more than that, I laugh, I have fun with him, I enjoy our long talks and hikes together. I love our time together even if it's just doing nothing. Also, a Damn fine kisser... Dammit, why can't I have them both, is that too much to ask?”

 

Dorian grinned at her “its simple my dear sleep with them both, then pick the better lover, or better yet have sex with them at the same time…” 

 

She threw a pillow at him, “from virgin to a harlot in one night, now there is a life goal.” 

 

He took her hands, making her focus on him. “take the three weeks, at first, you're going to miss them both and worry about them both, When one stands above the other, you will have your answer. Tonight send them to bed happy, but not too happy. And let them know that when they return you will have made a decision.” 

 

She nodded “Thank you Dorian, but, what if I haven't decided by the time they get back?” 

 

Kissing each of her hands he gave her an answer that shocked her. “Then you don't really love either. As the saying goes, if you fall in love with two people, always pick the second because if it was true love in the first place, there would never be a second.” 

 

Cassandra hit him with a pillow repeatedly, fending himself off. “Maker's balls woman what is that for?” She was out of breath as she hit him again, “that's for not liking women when you're fucking perfect.” She sat back down and pouted when he laughed. 

 

Cullen and Rylen were both standing in Josephine's office talking when they all walked in. Dorian laughed “Maker This is just too much pure sex standing in one room, especially now that I'm here. Wait, Ladies can we conjure things now just by talking about them? Quick girls hold hands and chant with me, make their pants fall off...” 

 

Emily pretty much wanted to die, she was mortified that they knew she was talking about them. She quickly excused herself something about making sure supplies were packed for the trip before everyone shut down for the night. 

 

Dinner was served early in Skyhold, on the eve of a long separation with such a dangerous mission. Everyone spent the evening with their families, like clockwork nine months from now there would be more than a few babies born. 

 

Evelyn and Blackwall were having dinner in her apartments, Dorian, was doing the same thing with Bull. Emily had a date with Rylen, he kissed her on her cheek when she stepped into his quarters, taking the basket from her. She grinned at his picnic set up in front of the fireplace. 

 

When they sat together he took her hand kissing it, “you look beautiful tonight.” She smiled “thank you, I wanted to be girly today, so you got a dress and my hair down.” 

 

He ran his fingers through her hair, as she continued. “So earlier today, I was talking to the girls and Dorian, about you and Cullen.” 

 

He nodded responding cautiously “Oh? So, the Commander finally made his move did he, I thought he might soon, did you come to any decisions?” She nodded, “yes, and well yes actually, I have decided not to decide, well not tonight, tonight I'm just going to enjoy this moment with you. Then I'm going to take the weeks you're both gone to make a decision. When you are both back, I will let you both know.” 

 

Rylen unpacked their food putting it on plates “I see, and what does enjoying tonight with me entail? Because I can only assume that whatever limits you set on us, you already reached with Cullen, seeing as you two had time together earlier.” 

 

She caressed his cheek and ran her fingers through his hair. “The Commander was a gentleman, I will not give myself to either of you until you both come back.” 

 

He looked at her for the first time fear on his face “What happens Em if only one of us comes back? Or neither do?” Kneeling beside him, she pulled him into her arms. “I refuse to think that, You will both come home to me, I’m not doing this for sport or some game Ry, I'm using this time because if I'm honest with myself, I'm in love with you both, the thought of hurting either one of you makes me sick.” 

 

He kissed her softly, Clapping his hands together to change the mood. “OK enough sad talk, tonight is mine and even if this is my only night, tonight you are mine. I refuse to waste a moment of it, on not touching you, so open up.” 

 

She hadn't paid attention to what he was doing, but he had a plate heaped with bite size morsels, they sat there drinking wine and feeding each other. 

 

Stretching out beside her on the floor he held her against him. “Maker I love the feeling of you in my arms, tell me to stop and I will, but I need to kiss you, to touch you. Emily, I’ve never had anything to lose before, I'm terrified.” 

 

He was caressing her face when she pulled his lips to hers, their tongues collided and his hands found the ties on her dress, she gasped when he took her nipple into his mouth sucking on it, she could feel herself soaking her smalls she was so wet. Her fingers found the ridge in his pants stroking it through the linen, he was lost he couldn't focus on anything. "Maker I feel like I'm behind my dad's barn at 15, you're going to make me come in my trousers." 

 

It almost killed him, but he made her stop, “unless you choose me right now, We cannaugh because I cannaugh promise your virtue will be safe.” 

 

He held her in his arms again, her head on his chest as he stroked her hair. His voice soft “Cullen is a great man, if it’s not me, then I'm glad it's him, do naugh get me wrong I still want it to be me, but I want you to know I understand. I value our friendship, I would like to remain that way if that's all we have together.” 

 

She kissed him and held him tight. It was starting to get late, he had a long two weeks ahead of him so he walked her to her room. Kissing her at her door they said their goodbyes he told her he loved her, she told him she loved him, it was the truth for now. He just hoped she said it again in a few weeks. 

 

Heading back to his room he knocked on Cullen’s door before he opened it, nodding at the commander. “She's in her room safe and sound,” the rest didn't need to be said. Cullen smiled and nodded. “Thanks, Rylen, it's going to be a long few weeks,” the other man laughed, “you got that right.” 

 

She had been in her room pacing, going over and over in her head Things Dorian and the girls said and well just everything she was making herself crazy. 

 

She fell asleep having the most horrible dreams. 

 

Bolting upright in bed a scream on her lips, she held the blankets to her chest the last few seconds of her dream playing in her head. It had been Cassandra in her dreams   
that came to her, Cassandra's words screaming in her head. “Emily, I’m so sorry, I hate to be the one to tell you this but” Cassandra never got to say the name before terror gripped her and dragged her out of the dream, Sitting there shaking all she could think of was Please maker not him! 

 

She knew her choice she knew her heart, her love. She had had to go to him, if this was the last night together he needed to know, she needed to tell him. 

 

Slipping into trousers boots and a tunic, no smalls or a breast band they would just get in the way. 

 

Sprinting to his room, she banged on his door frantically, when he flung it open wearing only half done up trousers holding his sword. Pulling her inside closing the door his eyes full of fear. “Emily, what's wrong? Are you OK? Did something happen?” 

 

She shook her head panting “it's you, I choose you, my dream said you. I love you.” He dropped his sword and crushed her to him, she marveled at his naked chest pulling back he looked into her eyes. “Are you sure?” 

 

She nodded frantic to touch him babbling, "Cassandra in my dream was about to tell me one of you fell in battle and I awoke before she could say a name, all I could think of as I sat there in the dark was I needed to get to you, Maker, I won't survive, Please don't let it be…"

 

For Cullen go to Chapter 2(Cullen) for Rylen Go to chapter 3 (Rylen)


	2. I Choose you Cullen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Choose the Commander...

She knew her choice, she knew her love. She had fallen asleep across her bed still in her dress she pulled it off slipping into trousers boots and a tunic, no smalls or a breast band they would just get in the way. Sprinting to his room she banged on his door frantically, he flung it open wearing only half done up trousers holding his sword, pulling her inside closing the door his eyes full of fear “Emily, what's wrong? are you ok? did something happen?” she shook her head panting “it's you, I choose you, my dream said you. I love you.” he dropped his sword and crushed her to him, she marveled at his naked chest pulling back he looked into her eyes “Are you sure?” 

She nodded frantic to touch him babbling “Cassandra in my dream was about to tell me one of you fell in battle and I awoke before she could say a name, all I could think of as I sat there in the dark was I needed to get to you, Maker, I won't survive, Please don't let it be…Cullen. Please, Cullen, I need you, hold me. I was so scared, I had to see you to make sure to tell you, to touch you. Cullen please.” 

He nodded to the ladder leading to his room. “If you're sure you're ready then Maker I need you so fucking bad.”

She was ripping her tunic off, as she climbed the stairs kicking off her boots and untying her trousers. She was naked when he reached the top and all he could do was stare at her. “Maker if this is a dream or you're a demon, tonight I don't care. Emily gasped when he dropped his trousers, seeing him fully naked for the first time, his eyes predatory. On her knees on the edge of the bed her hands running over his chest, her lips kissing nipping licking. He took her face in his hands bringing his lips to hers. It started off as a soft kiss, but slowly he deepened it until her arms were wrapped around his neck, her fingers in his hair. 

Moving her back on the bed, his body alongside hers, his hard cock pressing into her hip. Cullen brushed the hair back from her face kissing her as his fingers explored her flesh. Emily gasped against his lips when he pinched her nipple, pulling back just enough to speak, his voice hoarse with need. “When you're in your bed at night Em, tell me what you think of, when you're fingers are touching your flesh,” his index finger slipped in between her slick folds and brushed her jewel his golden eyes darkening with desire watching her react in his arms “what's your dark fantasy Em what do you want me to do?” his slick finger circled her nipple “do you want soft touches and caresses I wonder?” he pinched her nipple making her cry out and arch backward “or do you want a little sting with your pleasure? possibly both.” His lips covered the nipple he had coated in her cream lapping at it making her moan when he bit her she moaned harder pressing his face into her flesh. Looking up into her eyes his smile cocky “there I have my answer, In this room your desires are safe, sacred you need but only give them voice, I will strive to make them come true.”

He moved down her body pinning her legs open, running his tongue from her entrance to her clit, moaning at how she tasted, his fingers assaulted her flesh stroking, caressing. His hands on her ass pulling her tighter into his mouth so he could feast on her, drinking her. She lost all control and was mewling writhing against him, her hands in his hair rocking against his mouth. Her first orgasm at someone else's hand took her by surprise. 

The response he got when he bit her clit almost had him coming on the floor, she was clawing at his shoulders her legs over his arms begging him. Cullen was pretty sure she didn't know what for, she just knew she needed him. When she was on the rise to her second release, he slid up her body her legs over his shoulders, without warning he speared into her. Relishing the moment of panic, pain then pleasure that flashed in her eyes, the loss of her maidenhead as he thrust into her hard, feeling his tip pressing into her womb. 

Sucking and biting her bottom lip as he let her get accustomed to being open and full. Emily was gasping and clenching around him, a razor's edge of too much and not enough. Eyes locked together, she shivered around him at the hunger in his. Cullen’s voice saturating her fogged brain, he said one word that sent a wave of heat through her “Mine.” His hips slowly started moving, her mouth fell open in shock, unable to form words as he moved inside her. Emily clung to his shoulders, letting her legs fall around his waist. His hand holding up one thigh as he rested on one arm slowly making love to her, letting her feel all of him. Years of being a templar had him holding off his release, but when she bit him and whispered “fuck me, harder Commander.” He lost his control. Emily could feel him explode inside her, feel his seed rushing through her, she was drunk on the power. All she wanted was this to never end. 

They didn't stop for hours, he pushed her limits time and again when she was wrapped in his arms after a position that had her on top of him riding him. She was feeling bold, resting her chin on his chest “So Cullen you have found, my secrets, do you have any desires you want me to do?” He looked into her face for a moment, she could see there was something he wanted but was debating asking for it. finally, he spoke “I want you to take me, into your mouth.” She grinned, not about to tell him Dorian had given her advice on how to bring a man to his knees. 

She simply slid down his body kneeling between his legs, looking up at him she ran her tongue flat up his cock from his balls to the tip, then she slowly sucked him into her mouth as much as she could take, her hand fisting the rest. She felt power course through her at the response he gifted her with, the more he cried out and moaned the more she felt empowered to do. Dragging her teeth up him she pressed her tongue into his slit pausing, and then sucked him in hard. Her stoic in control Cullen shouted out her name, when he began begging her to stop or he was going to come, she sucked harder. The first shots in her mouth shocked her, but she greedily drank his juice and licked his cock clean ending with a pop as his tip pulled from his lips. He was panting his arm over his eyes, grabbing her hand he pulled her into his chest “Maker I fucking love you.” crushing his lips against hers, he could still taste himself on her, but fair was fair because her juices were still on his. 

 

Laying in bed the sun was shining on them through the hole in his roof, Maker I'm going to have that repaired while you're gone, she grumbled and burrowed further into his chest. he took her hand kissing each one of her fingertips. Offering a different solution “We could turn this area into a library, or a sitting area for when you come to distract me during the day. We could see Josephine about finding us apartments in the main building, you know like married couples do.” he heard her gasp “Cullen are you asking me to marry you?” he grinned rolling over top of her his eyes darkening at the sharp intake of breath when he slid into her. “Well, that depends, entirely on what your answer is.” She nodded “I see” flexing her hips up to meet his making his breath catch this time. Panting she replied “Well Commander I don't believe I’ve been asked a question that requires an answer just yet.” one arm under her head the other on her hip he ground against her moving faster, both of them losing the fight of control small gasps and whimpers of pleasure.

 

She was wearing one of his shirts and nothing else, but in her defense he was wearing leather pants and nothing else. Sitting cross-legged on his bed watching him fix his hair, it felt like a glimpse into their future. Holding a cup of tea, her hair was a mess, but Maker she was so happy.

Her green eyes met his golden ones in the mirror, he winked at her putting her tea down she walked up behind him her bare feet padding across the worn wood picking up his razor she hooked a toe on the rung of a chair and pulled it over. “Have a seat Commander”straddling his lap. He ran his hands up the outside of her thighs to her ass, “Maker woman I just realized you have legs for days.” His fingers brushed her swollen lips, holding his razor in her hand, she caressed his cheek with a fingertip looking down into his eyes “My love do you really want to distract me?” leaning in he kissed her stomach resting his cheek against it. “No not really, but you can't tempt me now, and expect me not to touch you.” Emily massaged his shoulders while his sat with a hot towel on his face, taking the towel off he blinked and then focused on her face once more smiling. Emily Caressed his cheek whispering “there's my sexy man.” Cullen snorted and rolled his eyes, shaking her head in wonder “you really don't see it, do you?” 

Taking his shaving soap and rubbing it onto his skin, he closed his eyes memorizing the feeling of her warm body moving against his, as she ran a blade over his face and across his throat. gently she kissed his lips when she was done, he opened his eyes and grabbed her throwing her on the bed “Maker that was so fucking hot I need you, now” releasing himself he slammed into her swollen passage she gasped at his entrance and wrapped her legs around him. it was fast it was bordering on frantic, he drove hard needing to possess her, she pushed him harder wanting to be possessed. Cullen was standing holding her hips thrusting into her, her shoulders were on his bed as she rocked against him. When he Came this time there was no stopping either of their cries. resting his forehead in the middle of her stomach he slowly untangled himself from her body. 

Em, I need to get ready, runners are going to be breaking down my door shortly. She helped him into his armor. he caught her hand and kissed it “You take any better care of me, and I will become lazy.” Grinning at him she licked his nose “You, never!” borrowing his shirt she pulled on her trousers and headed to her room to prepare for the day. She had to go see Rylen, she owed him that. 

He was standing on the ramparts on the edge of the wall, arms crossed feet spread ever the readied soldier, overlooking the courtyard overseeing preparations. Emily walked up and touched his arm. Rylen’s face instantly broke into a grin “there’s my girl! are ya ready to be the master of Skyhold my love.” He stepped off the wall standing next to her, holding his arms out to her, when she didn't move towards him, his eyes narrowed, that’s when he noticed little changes like the swollen bee stung lips, the whisker burn on her neck, the glow in her skin. Letting his arms fall, nodding “you've made your decision then?” he turned his back to the courtyard resting against the stone, facing her. “Well Lass we both knew that you would have, to have this conversation with someone, “ he laughed a little sadly, shaking his head as he looked over his shoulder. “Course, I was really hoping that it would be me standing across the courtyard watching you have this talk with him.” She looked over, for the first time spotted Cullen standing on the steps from the main hall overlooking the area much like Rylen had been, his eyes locked on them.

 

Rylen took her hands in his and kissed the back of each one “Maker help me, but I'm a fool for you, Lass, He's a good man and you will be happy, but… but if,” he let her hands fall to her sides “Just know I'm always here for you, however, you need me to be.” She hugged him and kissed his cheek, he kissed hers back like you would a sister or a friend. It almost killed him to watch her walk away. 

Rylen turned and faced Cullen across the courtyard. Nodding his head in Cullen’s direction, he held up his pointer finger and thumb letting the other man know, he conceded, he made no claim. Cullen nodded and pressed his fist to his heart as a sign of respect and acceptance. 

Everyone was gathered in the courtyard saying goodbye to loved ones. She was standing there with the girls saying goodbye to her sister when Cullen called to her across the Courtyard, his booming voice making everyone stop and look at them “So Emily you still haven't given me an answer!?” the whispers in the crowd as everyone was wondering exactly what he had asked. 

She looked over her shoulder at him grinning, shouting back. “Well Commander, I don't recall you asking a question.” 

He was at her side in four strides taking her hand spinning her into him, dipping her backwards “Emily Alexandra Trevelyan, will you marry me?” her eyes were huge, the entire courtyard was holding their breath watching. When she nodded crying out “Maker Yes” his mouth captured hers everything else fell away, he held her in his arms and kissed her in front of all of Skyhold and the Maker. They were surrounded by cheers and congratulations, she laughed saying he just wanted a room with a roof. 

Standing on the roof of the tower, she suspected that was going to be a spot she frequented over the next few weeks. waving and watching as they all road out. Sending up a silent prayer to the Maker to keep them all safe and bring them home to her. 

By the second day she was a wreck Josephine suggested they begin planning their wedding together and decorating their new apartments. Leliana shared any information the ravens brought in but the letters were few, all she knew was they would be reaching the fortress, the next day, and then the worrying would really start. 

Leliana came running with a letter, it had been addressed to Cullen but in his absence she always opened any of the advisors or the Inquisitors mail just in case it required immediate action. Like this one obviously did. “Emily, Cullen's sister Mia and his Nephew Tanner have been kidnapped , his parents are frantic and on their way. The will be here tomorrow they don't know he's not here!!”

Emily gathered up the men left behind she made her own party utilizing an adventuring Company in the tavern. seven of them stood at the war table. going off what little information they had they made a rough plan. When the Rutherford’s got here tomorrow they would solidify it and head out. Maker blessing them they could be back before the Inquisition forces. 

 

They had made it back, thank the Maker. Cullen needed a bath, food and Emily beneath him in bed for a week. Maker it had been a shitty mission between losing the Inquisitor and her entire party in the fade a fucking Dragon, only to have them fall back out of the fade losing Hawke, the entire thing took much longer than they had planned for. It was just a mess, his eyes scanning the courtyard, where was she? he looked towards his office. 

Then he spotted his, Andraste help him were those his parents with Leliana? Something was wrong, Where was Emily, why were his parents here? He Lept from his horse running up to them hugging them. His mother looked like she was going to cry, looking to Leliana “Where is she? whats wrong? Leliana where is Emily?” Leliana shook her head, tears rimming her eyes. “I don't know.” His dad was the one who spoke “Son Mia and Tanner were kidnapped, and Maker bless her without hesitation your Emily and a small party went after them, but it’s been almost four and a half weeks and we haven't heard from her in three. 

Cullen looked like he had been punched in the gut, Rylen was walking up behind Cullen and overheard. “Does Evelyn know?” Leliana shook her head. “Not yet, after everything at Adamant I didn't want to be the one to tell her yet.” Evelyn walked up behind Leliana “Tell me what?” Cullen Introduced his parents to Evelyn and told her about his sister and Nephew.” before he could even say the words, Evelyn looked at Leliana “And how long has Emily been gone after them?” William Rutherford answered “Emily left almost five weeks ago, she left days after you did, her last raven was three weeks ago. She took Sutherland's group with her.” 

Cullen was calling for a horse, when Rylen stopped him. “What the fuck are you planning do? you rode yourself into the ground to get here, you're wounded, you haven't slept more than 2 hours at a time since we left.” Cullen was fighting him “I have to get to her, you don't understand she’s my everything, she needs me. Get the fuck out of the way Captain!” Rylen grabbed him by his mantle shaking him “Cullen, I love her as much as you do!! I want her back here safe for you!! but we need a plan, or in a week Evelyn will be sending people to look for us. Go to your room bath, eat we all meet at the war table in an hour then bed. Heading out at the break of dawn that gives us 7 hours of sleep and fresh horses, and a solid plan.” They were staring each other down, Rylen was making him focus. Internally however, Rylen was screaming that this was all this assholes fault, Maker if anything happens to her he would never forgive himself. 

Cullen nodded, Rylen let go. Cullen’s mom hugged him to her, Your Emily is a remarkable girl, she will be ok. Cullen nodded, his mind racing, turning to head to his room Josephine's voice stopped him. Cullen, Emily moved you both into an apartment in the main building let me show you to your new rooms. Numb he followed her, remembering his parents he hugged them both. “I will come get you when i'm clean, we can go to the war room together then have dinner and catch up.” His mom squeezed his hand 

Cullen sat in the water feeling 5 weeks of dirt slide off. Maker this was supposed to be their time, she was supposed to be in here with him. he saw her hairbrush his shaving equipment sitting on a shelf together…it felt normal, like it should be, for probably the 100th time since he got back he prayed to the Maker to let her be ok. 

Dressed in regular clothing leaving his armor on the stand she had placed beside hers. Cullen stood at the end of their new bed holding onto the footboard he felt lost. Maker he was so tired, but he didn't want to sleep, not without her. He just kept telling himself, she was ok, there is a logical explanation as to why she isn't back yet. She's ok until he had reason to believe otherwise he wouldn't, he couldn't think anything else. 

Taking a deep breath he strode from their room word had gotten out about Emily and there were a line of men and women waiting to volunteer to search for her. 

His parents were standing on either side of him at the war table all other markers were removed other than his. It gave him a weird sense of pride that she had used his marker for planning this mission. William Rutherford gave them all the info that he had given Emily. Leliana gave them all the information Emily had given her in her last raven. Cullen, Rylen and Evelyn all just stood there numb looking at the map. Evelyn shook her head, Maker i'm so freaking tired I can't even think. Bull spoke up “If I may boss?” she waved her hand at the map, be my guest. 

Bull picked up a couple pieces “OK were all tired so follow me quick, and we can get to bed. Where to start is simple, so they have been gone almost five weeks this was her last location,” he placed a marker. “You say Mia and Tanner were taken from here?” William nodded, Bull placed another marker. “Everything is funneling right to the port, this whole area is Slaver country. The only reason to kidnap your sister and nephew would be for that. Its highly doubtful they even know she's your sister, or her worth. So I say we screw the surrounding area heading straight there. Slaver ships sometimes stay in dock for a month or more. If were lucky,the ships still in dock if were not ,we find out what ships were there and where they went. My guess is Tevinter but hey I'm kind of jaded like that. Leliana do you have feet on the ground there? if so get them working on the ships they can probably eliminate 3/4s of them before we ever get there. Now I’m just guessing at what happened to Emily. She doesn't know our system… she probably figured out where Mia and Tanner were headed but had no way of contacting us. I will bet my my best dagger that she left us a message somehow at the port.”

Leliana nodded I will have some of my people run up the Inquisition banner, maybe draw out the messenger. All of you go eat go to bed, I'm looking at both you two.” She was pointing at Cullen and Rylen. 

William Rutherford put his arm around his son, he hadn't seen the boy in over twenty years. “Come on Son lets go eat in your room, and we can put you to bed.” Cullen was too tired to resist he let them lead the way Josephine had food sent up after them.

The conversation was awkward, sure there had been letters but he had been away from their home far longer than he had been apart of it. His mom kept touching his hair, it made him crazy but, it was comforting at the same time. Carolynn Rutherford was so grateful to see her son, she had been sure the next time she saw him would be when something horrific had happened and they brought his body home. “So Josephine tells us we have perfect timing. That you and Emily are getting married shortly after she gets back.” He grinned nodding “I asked her moments before we rode out on our mission, she accepted. I told her I didn't want to wait to be her husband. That she needed to plan it while I was away.” His mother nodded “Emily showed me the drawings for her dress Maker's breath she will be stunning.” Cullen nodded “Em could wear a flour sack and be beautiful.” 

His dad patted his back, “Cullen, You're momma and I got to spend the evening with Emily before she left. She is a remarkable young woman, she is strong and capable. She was determined to bring back your sister and nephew. I was humbled by the fact that she would help us/them, simply because we needed it. You, you have made us proud son, and you have an amazing future with her. You will find her, she will come home and we'll celebrate your wedding together. Of that I am certain. The only thing I'm more certain of is how much that girl loves you, and she will move mountains to come home to you.”

Cullen smiled “Thank you, both. and as crappy of the circumstances are, Maker i'm so happy you're here.” He hugged them both. Laughing when his mom ruffled his hair “did she tell you how we only said I love you, the night before I left, when I think of the months of wasted time, we could of had.”

Rylen was walking back to his rooms from the stables making sure everything would be ready for them in the morning, an alarm went up. All he could think of was Maker what now. When the watchers started shouting “its them its them open open the gates.” Rylen didn't want to hope, but he was holding his breath as a strange woman and boy were pulling what looked like a hay cart. When the woman called out “I'm Mia Rutherford, Emily needs help!” His legs were moving as fast as he could. Maker she looked horrible she was beaten and he could see at least one arm was broken possibly more. He looked at Mia “Is she?” Mia shook her head “She's too damn stubborn to die on us now. Please I'm Cullen’s sister ” Rylen gingerly went to pick her up just as her eyes fluttered open, the movement making her scream, passing out almost instantly “Rylen held her close to his body as best he could “I know who you are Mia, we were all heading out in the morning to find you. We just got back hours ago, your parents are with Cullen follow me.” 

Kicking open the doors of the main hall, Rylen bellowed for Dorian and any available healer. Dorian was there almost instantly “Andraste's ass get her to her room NOW MAN!” Rylen ran the stairs to her room and kicked the door shouting Cullen Open this door before I boot it in. 

Cullen’s comment was cut off when he saw her, he froze. Rylen shoved passed him taking her to the bed shouting.“Dorian what do you need?” Dorian looked at the shattered body before him “Lyrium potions and lots of them. I need Cullen Carolynn and Mia to stay everyone else out or out of the way. We need to get her naked I need to see how bad.”

Evelyn came rushing into the room “I heard she's “ her voice was cut off and shock rolled through her “Maker no? is she?” Rylen was holding himself up with a chair. He shook his head “no thank the maker, she's not” Bull came in with cases of lyrium potions for Dorian, Cullen had just finished slicing her pants off and was working on her jacket. Dorian nodded at Cullen, “I know you want to be with her but I need her space clear so I'm healing just her please everyone other then Evelyn over there, Evie I need to draw power from you.”

Cullen walked over and grabbed Mia pulling her and Tanner into his arms “Maker thank god you're both ok,” Mia started sobbing and telling them how Slavers had caught them when they were coming to Skyhold to surprise him. Mia gasped looking up at Cullen “Maker Emily, she snuck on the boat moments before it set sail, when they realized they had extra cargo,” Mia couldn't hold back her tears “Sutherland, Voth, Shayd and Rat all sacrificed themselves to save us. We swam and swam, finally a fishing boat found us we thought we were safe, until they turned on us trying to sell us to different slavers in the next port. Emily cut them all down but you can see she was hurt badly. I managed to drag her into a farm but I knew if I didn't get her here she wasn't going to make it so we walked… for the last 10 days. I used healing potions and any healer I could find along the way. If nothing else than to help keep her comfortable and alive.” Dorian called from the bed “You did amazing Mia, she looks actually worse than she is, you healed her ribs and her lung, her other organs are bruised but not hurt.” 

Evelyn gasped her eyes wide looking at Dorian “Maker is that what I think that is?” Cullen was at the foot of the bed demanding “What? is it what? TELL ME!” Mia called over to Dorian “ Tell him, She knew, a healer told her a week ago, Emily made me promise her that if her body was too broken, you would keep her alive until it was ready.” 

Dorian smiled “well it looks like that’s a promise I won't have to keep.” He looked at Cullen, Dorian placed his hand over Emily’s stomach the room filled with a rapid beating. His voice soft “it's barely there not because its weak, he or she has a heart of two warriors, but because it's just barely started beating, the life is so new.” 

Carolynn gasped and hugged William “Another Grandbaby!” Cullen looked lost he stumbled a couple steps, holding onto his heart and the footboard, his voice thick with emotion “I’m going to be a dad.” His eyes shot to Dorian “Maker is she, are they going to be ok,?” Evelyn hugged her future brother in law rubbing his chest “Yes daddy they will be ok” Dorian nodded “bedrest for a week, she will be weak and that will piss her off no doubt. She can get out of bed and walk around but not to much, then we will reasses. This is going to go slow and it's going to make her mad, but they both are strong and will be ok.” Evelyn pulled blankets over her baby sister, looking back at Cullen “You can sleep in the same bed Cullen, just be careful she's going to hurt, and you already knocked her up so no funny buisness for a little while.” he nodded “would it be ok if I bathed her in bed?” Doran nodded “that would probably do her a world of good. when she's conscious a soak in the tub will ease the pain too. There are potions on the table if she needs them for pain. Now I think we all need to leave and let you get some rest.” 

Evelyn wrapped her arm around Rylen, he was still gripping the chair his knuckles white with the effort. She knew he wasn't doing so well, “Hey soldier how about you walk me out?” When they made it to the ramparts Evelyn rubbed his back as he threw up over the side of the wall into the Abyss, helping him back as he sat there and sobbed “Maker I have never been so scared in my life. Inquisitor,Evelyn... I can’t stay here, I can’t watch them together and not touch her, be with her. Watching her swell with his baby, I can’t it’s too much, I'm sorry, I'm a weak man, but all I could think of was it could have, Maker help me it should have been mine. Please, send me to Griffon Wing Keep send me to the hissing wastes. I don't care but please don't make me watch the life I desperately want , with a woman I can never have.”

She hugged him tight, tears in her eyes. “I'm so sorry Ry, and yes!! where ever you want I officially promote you to Commander of whatever post you choose.” He nodded “Thank you, I will leave for Griffon Wing in the morning, say my goodbyes to her for me.” She nodded, “I will , and I will have the papers sent ahead of you, giving you Command. You're a good Man Rylen, you will find love again.” 

Cullen’s mom helped him get her on towels pulling the cut away clothes, he would have leathers made for her after the baby. Together they managed to washed her hair over the side of the bed once she was settled back in and comfortable Carolynn left her son to bath the rest of Emily.

He caressed her body with the wet cloth watching the dirt fall away showing more bruises than he liked but maker she, they were home. his hand resting on her belly. A baby! he sat there praying to the Maker, offering anything he had and could do to keep them both safe. 

Emily woke in the middle of the night, for the first time in a very long time she wasn't in excruciating pain. It took her a minute for the fog to lift, Sweet Andraste they had made it Mia had gotten her home. She went to sit up holding onto her precious cargo praying they were still there. She needed to see if Cullen had made it back yet. She had her answer before she even saw him. His rich baritone came from the pillow beside her “Do you need something? are you in pain?” he was moving towards her in the dark. 

She just started to cry, he held her kissing her hair.Telling her about how she was gone when they arrived and then Mia came through the gate and how Dorian healed her and said their baby was fine. He looked up into her eyes “were going to have a baby, Emily” all she could do was nod and hold him. Everything hurt, but Dorian had healed all her broken bones so it felt like she had just taken a wicked beating. He helped her use the bathroom and actually drew a real bath for her letting her soak while he changed the sheets on their bed. Helping her out, her legs gave way he made her sit down as he dried her off slowly running the towel over her skin then both of them naked he carried her back to bed. Laying beside her he kissed her for hours her lips were swollen and maker it was wonderful to be back in his arms again. It was all they did that night but the reconnection was there. He held her to him as they slept one hand protectively over their creation.


	3. I Choose you Rylen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So You Have Chosen Rylen

She knew her choice she knew her love. She had fallen asleep across her bed still in her dress she pulled it off slipping into trousers boots and a tunic, no smalls or a breast band they would just get in the way. Sprinting to his room she banged on his door frantically, he flung it open wearing only half done up trousers holding his sword, pulling her inside closing the door his eyes full of fear “Emily, what's wrong? are you ok? did something happen?” she shook her head panting “it's you, I choose you, my dream said you. I love you.” he dropped his sword and crushed her to him, she marveled at his naked chest pulling back he looked into her eyes “Are you sure?” 

 

She nodded, frantic to touch him babbling “Cassandra in my dream was about to tell me one of you fell in battle and I awoke before she could say a name, all I could think of as I sat there in the dark was I needed to get to you, Maker, I won't survive, Please don't let it be…Rylen. Please, Rylen I need you, hold me. I was so scared, I had to see you to make sure, to tell you to touch you. Rylen please.” 

 

He swept her up into his arms his mouth cutting her words off, 

 

She was ripping her tunic off as she clung to him, kicking off her boots and untying her trousers. when he tossed her on his bed with a growl. His eyes were locked on her naked body “Lass be sure I'm the one you want when I make you mine I will naugh share you ever.” He was standing there naked, hard. Panting with the effort it took to wait for her to say the words.

 

Reaching out her hand to pull him towards her, her eyes looking up into his with such need. “Rylen I love you.” Those words ripped open everything he held back. Laying next to her on the bed his fingers grazed over her skin softly, his lips on her shoulder tasting her skin. “I'm scared this is a dream, Maker I have laid here praying for this since almost the moment I met you, and here you are,” her hands caressed his chest, leaning in she bit him grinning as she kissed his lips, her hand reaching down to caress the evidence of his arousal. “You seem pretty awake to me,” moving over her, his fingers tracing her lips reverently “you know we don't have to do this right, if you're naugh ready we can wait until I get back. Even then I will wait for you.” She knew he would need a shove to do this, he was always so worry about her needs. 

 

Taking his hand in hers, she sucked each individual finger slowly, the moan he gifted her with had her clit pulsing. Bringing his hand to her breast she moved his fingers softly over her nipple feeling it harden at his touch. His eyes were so full of need she felt like she was drowning in emotion. She took his hand and skimmed it lower when it covered her center he moaned, she pressed his middle finger between her folds into her wetness, he closed his eyes and sucked in a breath as she moaned “does it feel like I'm sure?” 

 

Rylen took over pressing her back into his bed, his thigh pinning hers to the mattress making her open to him as he began to worship her body. It started off with soft small slow kisses and nips. He lavished attention on her breasts kissing and licking each one. He was suddenly struck with the vision of a babe sucking at her breasts while he held them both tight, it caught him so off guard that his hand was caressing her stomach like his seed had already taken root. “Emily, before we go any further I need to ask you an important question. Lass,” her hands caressed his face.

 

She kissed his lips softly, “Anything my love?” he looked to the ceiling whispering the words “Maker help me, I never thought I would ask anyone this.” His fingertips stroked her cheek. “I love you before I take this gift you're offering me and, believe me, Lass, I am blessed by you. I need to ask you, Emily, will you marry me?” Of everything she expected him to say, that was not it. She gasped covering her mouth, nodding he pressed his forehead to hers “Lass I kinda need to hear the words, so I can breath again.” she wrapped her arms around his neck pressing him back into the bed kissing him over and over as she said the word “YES!” in between each kiss. 

 

She was trying to straddle his hips, and while she was strong, he was stronger. Pinning her back to the bed when she pleaded, “Rylen please I need to feel you inside me.” Kissing down her body “Och lass have no fear tonight I will fill you over and over again, but our first fitting will naugh be comfortable for you, and I have a powerful need to taste you, So lay back and let me love my future wife.” 

 

Spreading her legs she was somewhat embarrassed that his face was so close to her core. His calloused hand on her abdomen, holding her from trying to escape, blowing softly sent shivers through her. He could smell her arousal, all he could think of was drowning in her, being saturated with everything that was his Emily.

 

When his tongue touched her clit she gasped, when his lips wrapped around it, she cried out to the maker, her hands fisting his hair and sheets. He slowly began lapping at her core sliding into her wet channel, feeling the barrier he would be claiming shortly, forever making her his. 

 

His thumb stroking her pearl, watching her respond to his touch was like lightning through his body. Maker, she was responsive to his touch, watching her passion roll thought her he knew exactly when she was close. Just as she was about to come, he sucked hard on her clit taking her to a level even higher. Her screams resonating through his room, he was sure he would hear about this tomorrow from his men if one wasn't about to beat down his door. 

 

He barely let her catch her breath before he was assaulting her clit again, making her skyrocket towards her second orgasm. Just as she was about to shatter he slid between her legs a soft plea against her lips “forgive me, love.” Her world went from screaming orgasm to a flash of pain, then back to her rising release. His mouth swallowing her cries as he took her innocence, making her his forever. Once he was inside her, she was the one swallowing his cries, gasping at the tightness of her velvet channel. Tears were in his eyes as he looked at her, their bodies joined “I swear, I will love you until the Maker calls me home, even then I will love you from the fade.” She bucked her hips up against his, his back bowed making him cry out. 

 

He held her to him, as he slowly moved inside her, his eyes never leaving hers. Words of love in two languages, some she understood some she had yet to. Her hands caressing his body as she moved with him, her’s welcoming him into it. She could feel her release licking her toes it was so different this time, she felt so full. Writhing against him she was starting to lose control, his mouth locking on hers, the flutterings of her channel were milking him. 

 

He pulled her to his chest rocking his hips into her, she was bent completely backwards watching the curve of her body as it bowed, running his hand down her chest to where they were joined, displaying her clit for him, his thumb stroked her pearl. When she came, it was different than she had ever felt before. She overpowered him in her passion, clawing and begging him, for what she didn't know. He kneeled back holding her legs wide as he took her hard, even then she screamed harder, he gave her what she wanted. Her third, fourth and fifth back to back release were his reward. 

 

Maker, he was close when she leaned up and bit his nipple, he was lost holding onto her hips he fucked her, pistoning into her, bellowing his release as he emptied deep inside her. Falling forward his hands on either side of her head his hips still pumping into her. Slowly stopping, wrapping his arms around her waist he pulled her into his lap, still buried deep in her he just held her to him as she kneeled over his thighs. His hands brushing back her hair “Maker you are so beautiful, the first time you looked at me, I thought so. Then when we were sparring that first time and I was able to touch you, I wanted you. The first time you hugged me I needed you. The first time we baked together in the kitchen I knew I was in love with you.” 

 

Slowly she rolled her hips against his feeling powerful when he gasped, his head falling back in pleasure. This time she took him, she set the pace and when she came she screamed his name. 

 

He took her for hours that night, filling her belly over and over with his seed. They had never talked about babies but Maker he prayed to see swelling in her, in the months to come. She sent up her own silent prayer dear Maker bring him back to me. Exhausted he held her all night sleeping with her in his arms, his future literally in his hands.

 

Cullen needed to talk to Rylen before they headed out, His Captain was always an early riser. So when he didn't immediately answer the door he assumed the man was out of his room. Opening the door, Cullen intended to leave him a note, to come see him before they rode out. 

 

At first he was livid he could clearly see his friend wasn't in bed alone, the room smelled like hours of sex, how could he do this to Emily. He was about to beat the fuck out of the man when he saw who was in bed with him. Cullen felt like he had been struck, stumbling backward he made it out the door closing it behind him. pressing his back against the wall. One of the guards walked by nodding at the Captain's door. Maker is he awake yet, the sounds coming from that room last night I would be surprised if he could walk today. 

 

Cullen just stood there for a minute, wrapping his head around it. He had lost, He would have like to have known rather than see it, but he had lost. 

 

He still needed to talk to Rylen. Opening the door again he stepped in knocking on the wall “Goodmorning you two we have a battle to ready for.” Emily sat up gasping, the sheet falling away exposing her breasts to him. 

 

Cullen internally screamed, as turned his back. I will let you two get dressed and say your goodbyes. Rylen I need to talk to you before we ride out about assignments, meet me in my office. His hand on the door, she called out to him her voice saying his name was almost more than he could handle “Cullen!” he shook his head refusing to look back at her. “It's ok Em, it was always going to end with a choice. He's a good man, he will make you happy, you chose well,” with that he left.

 

Rylen made love to her slowly once more before they got up. She helped him put his armor on, he smiled and kissed her. “I could get used to this,” grinning at him as she fastened the last strap “You better,” he took her hands turning very serious. “Any regrets? change of mind?” pulling him in for a kiss she whispered “none at all.” Nodding his grin infectious “good, I have something for you.” he opened a wooden box. “when I wrote my mother for the recipe, I was actually asking for something else. I am naugh a man of any wealth or means, I'm afraid you’ve tied yourself to a soldier my lass, but I do have this.” He slipped a simple band on her hand with a pink moonstone in it.” t'was my Nan’s and when she passed, it became mine, now it's yours. I will also make sure that should I fall.” She tried to cut him off and he wouldn't let her “should something happen to me, that they know you're my wife in all but name Lass. However, when I return we will be wed, make the plans I will naugh wait any longer than I must.” She pulled her leather hair strap out of her pocket and tied it around his wrist “So whenever you feel lost… you have a link to home, to me.” 

 

They finally parted he went to see his Commander not really looking forward to this talk. Emily ran to get ready for the day, even though she wasn't going to battle, she was being charged with the protection of Skyhold she needed to be in leathers and ready. 

 

Rylen knocked on his door, Cullen looked up and motioned him to come in. They talked battle plans and movements finishing up anything before they moved out. Rylen knew he needed to say something, but he didn't know what. He just kind of blurted out the words “I asked her to marry me” Cullen looked startled, and then just nodded looking at the map on his desk “We both knew that this conversation was going to happen, I will be honest and say I had hoped it would be me saying those words to you. But, I'm happy for you both. I meant what I said this morning, you're a good man and she chose well.” 

 

He held out his hand to him, they shook hands and clapped each other on the shoulder before he let Cullen’s hand go. He asked for a favor “Cullen, if I do naugh come back, if something should happen to me out there, be it this time or the next or whatever. I want you to look after her for me, love her well.” Cullen nodded “I will” 

 

Rylen punched him in the shoulder course that does naugh mean you can boot me over a cliff either” Cullen Laughed, “duly noted…” Teasing as they walked down to the main courtyard together joking “how about a snake in your tent?” they went back and forth with various things each progressively getting more crazy one included a vargust lair and nug juice. 

 

She found her sister talking with Josephine in her office and Emily couldn't contain herself. “So I made a choice last night… and now Josy while they are away saving the word you and I need to plan my wedding to Rylen.” Evelyn blinked, then they all screamed and jumped up and down the sight that Leliana walked into was a little unsettling the Inquisitor in her warmage robes, her sister in her rogue leather and Josie in gold lamay jumping and squealing. When they let her in on the news the Spymaster grinned, “Thank the Maker it was you in his room last night! I was coming to figure out how to tell you… I'm surprised you can walk from what reports I received, are you sure you're not chafing in those leathers?” Emily shifted uncomfortably “now that you mention it, Maker, it hurts to walk, to sit. thank Andraste I don't have to sit a horse today, I couldn't do it.” Evelyn winked at her “Hot bath will do wonders with some oils.” 

 

Blackwall appeared at Evelyn’s side, “well Milady shall we begin this adventure?” Everyone walked to the courtyard she spotted Cullen barking orders, his focus seemed a little frayed today and she felt responsible. Evelyn followed her gaze “how did he take it?” Emily snorted “he walked in on us this morning sleeping. But he took it like Cullen takes anything. Wished us well and left, but I could see… I hurt him.”

 

The girls descended into the main courtyard Rylen and Cullen were standing side by side, which wasn't unusual because Ry was Cullen’s second in command. Cullen stepped toward her taking her hands and kissed each one. “let me be one of the first to congratulate you on your engagement, it will be wonderful to celebrate a wedding after this mission.”Rylen was standing there grinning, Cullen continued louder so he could hear “And I Promise not to dip your betrothed in Bogfish dung and leave him for the wild Mabari” 

 

Rylen laughed “Och man that's just mean, Mean I tell ya.” She hugged Cullen and kissed his cheek “Are we ok?” he nodded and kissed her hand again “Em we were never, not ok.” He looked over at Rylen again “Serah, a jar of bees, and a rabid nug.” Shaking his head as he laughed pulling Emily into his arms “A nug.. really a nug…” 

 

Cullen grinned,”Maker it's going to be a fun three days.” He walked away leaving them to say goodbye. She looked at her fiance “what was that all about?” Ryland laughed “Maker, I asked Cullen that if anything should happen to me, to look after you. So for the last twenty minutes he keeps telling me ways I could meet my end, leaving him open to have you.” she was shocked at first, then laughed calling over to Cullen “Cullen!!” when he looked her way she shouted “Blood lotus and a dragonling in a tent…” He made an OHHHH face, calling back “Rylen your girl is just mean, Em that’s so… mean.”

 

Rylen hugged her to him laughing. “Maker I love you,” she pulled him to her, his hands on her ass pulling her tight against him as he claimed her mouth. Pulling back he squeezed her ass “have I told you how much I Fucking love your leathers woman, Maker have mercy,” she giggled “oh apparently we were um, well lets just say they were wondering who you were with last night, Leliana even got reports on it.” He kissed her again “well then they will be well prepared for when I come home because Lass you will naugh be leaving our bed for a week.”

 

Before they all left Cullen made sure the troops left behind knew the handful of people who were in charge. She waved when he pointed her outstanding next to Leliana. They stood on the Ramparts watching the troops move out in waves. Till finally they were all out of sight, Maker it was going to be a long two weeks.

 

They received Ravens daily, one when they camped one when they broke camp. it was odd though because the timing of them was opposite they got the setting up camp in the morning and the breaking camp mid evening. So far, it was uneventful although Cullen did write at the bottom of one his newest idea involving a trebuchet and a druffalows ass. When she explained to Leliana and Josephine what the hell the Commander was talking about. They both couldn't stop laughing, 

 

The day of the battle everyone in Skyhold watched the skies for ravens, ironically it wasn't Ravens that had Skyhold in a twitter, and Leliana running to find Emily, she bid her follow speaking as they walked “A messenger from Starkhaven arrived with a “package” for Rylen, well technically it was for YOU and Rylen.” Emily looked at her friend, “so why not just have it put in our rooms, he can open it when he gets back?” Leliana shook her head “it's not a what, it's a who?” Emily’s pace quickened. there in the courtyard was a wagon with a few belongings in it standing next to it was a chantry brother, playing at his feet, however, was the most precious little girl with raven black curly pigtails, when she looked up at Emily the eyes... Maker this was Rylen's daughter. Kneeling in the dirt next to the little one she looked about two, Emily's eyes were fixed on the child, but she was speaking to Leliana “Talk to me Lily, what's going on… did I just… Is he… Maker am I an adulteress?” 

 

It was the Chantry Brother that gasped “Maker no mistress, Knight Commander Rylen was naugh married to the lasses mother, in fact, he does naugh know about the wee lassie.” 

 

Emily stood still watching the little one chasing a butterfly. “I don't understand then?” Leliana handed her a letter. in it, was the explanation she needed, it clarified that Mackenzie was Rylen’s daughter, her mother Aralynne a mage in Starkhaven had fallen. His mother being well past the age of raising a babe asked that Rylen and Emily take the girl as their own. Along with it was a letter from the girls mother at this point privacy be damned Emily ripped it open and read the words. 

 

My dearest Knight Captain

Rylen, if you are reading my words then I am lost and you know about our daughter. 

 

Please, I beg your forgiveness. You're a good man and will make a great father, but I used you for my own selfish purposes I knew our one night together would gift me with our child and Maker I wanted that more than anything. I had to hide her we both know why. 

 

Please, it’s not her fault she a wonderful girl any father could be proud of. Her name is Mackenzie she was born on the summer solstice of 9:40 Dragon just before the circles fell. 

 

Love her well, if you've wed, I hope you're wife sees fit to be kind to a small child, that meant no one harm. if you can’t or won't take her, please give her to the chantry. 

 

Emily looked at the chantry brother “What the Maker were you going to do if, I refused?” he sighed “then the girl will go to the chantry orphanage until a proper family can be found for her, is that what you're doing mistress?” she knelt down again resting on her knees “Mackenzie, Sweetie come here.” the little girl looked up and smiled running with her arms open to Emily. Scooping her up as she stood with.. maker with her daughter in her arms, Emily addressed the Chantry Brother “No, she is my daughter and I will accept responsibility for her in her father’s place” 

 

he clapped his hands together “that's wonderful I have papers ready for you sign that you are her rightful mother responsible for her, and I will be on my way back to Redcliffe.” She motioned for some of the guards to unload the wagon of Mack’s belongings giving orders to have them brought to their rooms.”

 

Shifting Mackenzie to her other hip she signed and swore before the maker giving Mackenzie her full name and noble birth, as was tradition of an unwed mother her children weren't entitled to their father's name unless they claimed them, since Rylen had never claimed her and they weren't married she was given the task of fully naming the wee lass. When Emily took Rylen’s name so would their daughter, till then she was Mackenzie Aralynne Trevelyan. Emily swore she would protect and love her always, Leliana witnessed it, Josephine cried happy tears. The chantry brother gave her a copy of the document, and then said the words “Oh, one more thing.” 

 

Emily gave him the evil eye.” How can there possibly be Oh one more thing?!” he grinned well in our travels here she bonded with a rather, well see for yourself. He rubbed Mack’s leg grinning “Call him my dear.” clapping her hands together Mackenzie laughed, tilting her head back and in her little lilting voice shouted “ROOOOFUSSSS” out of the back of the wagon lept the largest Mabari warhound she had ever seen. The beast ran up to them sniffed Mackenzie, sniffed Emily barked and sat down. All Emily could do was laugh. “Maker little one, your own Mabari, Your daddy is going to be so jealous.” 

 

Leliana found her on her knees at the altar in the gardens praying, her soft smooth voice granting her such relief she sat there and cried, they were all safe. Beaten and battered, but they were whole, after a week and a half of them being gone, they were on their way back. 

 

Josephine knew Emily needed something to do or she would make herself and everyone else crazy, with the newest addition to their family they needed permanent home. So she had apartments readied for the new couple. Their wedding was planned, to coincide with the celebration of the safe return. She moved all her belongings into their apartments they would share as man and wife, well family. It wasn't as huge as her sisters, but it was damn close. There were three rooms attached to a sitting room, a master suite for her and Ry, one room for Mackenzie, and one because Josephine teased her about not wanting to have to move them in another 9 months. 

 

Emily didn't want to pack Rylen’s things, she felt like it would be an invasion of privacy. Leaving it for him to do when he got home, for now there was a new armor stand and some clothing in their room for him. The rest he could move over later. This new room would also allow for privacy so they wouldn't be the talk of Skyhold any more.

 

Having Mac around made the days so much easier, the little girl was a treasure, charming everyone she met at Skyhold, she even sat for tea in Auntie Josephine's room. Josy ordered a special dress, for the newest member of the wedding. Leliana showed her how to send messages to her Auntie Evelyn. She made cookies with her momma and they took Rufus swimming in a pond. She was fascinated by Cole the two of them would sit for hours and have broken conversations about random stuff. Rufus was never far behind, but unlike other dogs she had, he was never under foot just there making sure she was ok. 

 

and so they waited….

 

Evelyn and her entourage were the first to arrive, it was the middle of the night, but Emily made sure there were healers if needed on hand, every room had hot food, and hot baths. People greeted their loved ones, but, for the most part, went to their private quarters, she helped with the wounded. Forcing Blackwall to take Evelyn to bed after everything she had been through she needed a bath and sleep. She told her she could meet her niece in the morning, and laughed when her sister pouted that she had kept the surprise she should get to see her now. 

 

Emily knew her two would be the last through the gate. She had made sure that Cullen’s room was readied, he had a hot bath and food waiting for him. For Rylen, she had prepared everything she could anticipate him needing in their apartment. It was well into the night when they were spotted coming up the pass. Emily ran down the stairs waiting for them to arrive. Rylen lept from his horse grabbing her, showering her in kisses. She shooed him away to stable his horse so they could have a proper welcome home, and she could tell him about their newest addition. she was pretty sure that promise was the only reason he let her go. 

 

Rufus came trotting up next to her with a sleepy Mackenzie in a night dress on his back. picking her up and brushing back her curls she kissed her forehead, as her daughter buried her face in her neck yawning the words “is daddy home yet?”

 

Cullen was Looking at her like she lost her mind, just shocked, Laughing at him “you think you're shocked wait till he finds out what I've done.” Cullen laughed shaking his head “I was going to go to bed but, this I have to see.” 

 

Standing next to her talking while they waited for him. Rylen was jogging back towards them when he stopped short giving her a funny look. “Emily Lass, I know I’m virile and all but, I have naugh been gone that long? And Maker you have a Mabari now?!” She handed him the letter from Aralynne. 

 

Watching the shock register on his face as he read it. When he was done, he handed it to Cullen to read. 

 

Rubbing her daughters back “Rufus is Mackenzie’s, not mine, and well she's technically My daughter now, but she's yours by blood.” She handed him the documents she signed. I claimed her as mine, I took vows for her, giving her, my last name and the protection of it holds. So if ya back out of this wedding now, she’s mine.” 

 

Cullen looked up at his Captain, he was about to say something about her looking good in Rutherford colors but thought better of it.

 

He was in shock leaning in to look at the wee face on Emily’s shoulder her little eyes fluttered open his unmistakable blue ones looked back at him. Her fist was rubbing her eyes, yawning as she greeted him “Hi daddy can I go to sleep now, momma said I didn't have to get up, but I wanted to see you. We made you cookies and I had tea and a dress that spins and I'm really tired.” 

 

Rylen was overwhelmed with so many emotions, Maker he was a dad, and she his Emily had taken his bastard child in making her legitimate. Naming her as hers, giving her noble birth. She had taken her when she didn't have to, had he not returned she would have raised his Wee Lassie alone. He rubbed his daughters back “aye lass, you can sleep now daddy’s home.” He pulled them both into his arms holding them tight kissing Emily’s lips “Maker I love you so much, you, Emily, you humble me.” 

 

Cullen grinned at them both “well it looks like the Maker had a plan for us all, congratulations you two.” Emily held his hand and he squeezed hers back. 

 

Cullen looked up at his office and frowned, he expected to see the dark windows. Emily smiled rubbing his arm “I took the liberty of having a fire built, a bath drawn, hot food and a bottle of wine waiting for you, so all you have to do is go enjoy. 

 

Rylen looked at his own dark windows quirking an eyebrow at her “Lass umm did you do that in the wrong room, I do naugh mean to complain, I know you have been busy, but I’m your betrothed it looks to me like a cold bed, dry bread and a basin bath for me?” She pointed to their balcony that overlooked the main courtyard. “That my love, is our little families apartments, I assure you, that you have a couple more things waiting for you in that room up there. Once we put our daughter back to bed.” 

 

Cullen looked up at the balcony and grinned “hu.. a person could slip on that balcony and fall over it, just, you know pointing out it could be a hazard.” Rylen shook his head and laughed “Ey Commander that's possible, just like a man with no roof could have an arrow shot from the angle of my new balcony. Twould truly ruin his day.”

 

Cullen bid them both goodnight, the two weeks away had help with the sting a little. Rylen took their daughter from her, slapped her on her leather clad ass with his other hand saying, “Ok Lass bath me, feed me and bed me.”


	4. Cullen and Emily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SO Cullen was chosen, and while I will probably update Rylen. I will focus on Cullen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cullen's song (well Ed Sheeran but hey its fiction)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFfKb_WEkCE
> 
> The dress:
> 
> http://royals-and-quotes.tumblr.com/post/75815724777/vintage-medieval-weddings-dresses#

“Cullen if you do not let me out of this bed and you're not going to fuck me then I will have to hurt you.” Emily was propped up on pillows in their bed pouting. Laughing at her as he blew her a kiss bringing his reports to their bed, handing her some. Here help me get through them and we can go for a walk in the gardens.” Cullen had moved his office to the corner of their room much like the Inquisitor had, The rule was unless it was Urgent, he would come get the reports three times a day, so they didn't have the constant stream of people in their bedroom. 

Leaning in kissing her, she pulled him closer deepening the kiss trying to draw him in, it was working he was forgetting his task and pulling her against him. It would have worked until she lept from the bed and stumbled to the bathroom retching. He had stopped following her every time she was sick unless it went on too long because it only frustrated her making her feel weak. He tried to tell her she wasn't weak she was pregnant but, that didn't make any difference. He had learned in the last two weeks that if he just acted like it never happened she was fine. When she crawled over the top of him back to her side of the bed rather than walking around he smiled and popped a piece of ginger root candy to settle her stomach in her mouth kissing her forehead. 

She laid there with her shirt pulled up, poking at her stomach, Cullen’s report in her hand laying across her boobs. He was reading his share when he noticed what she was doing. Without looking over at her he asked “Emily, why are you poking our child?” responding while she kept doing it “ they’re moving it feels like I swallowed a butterfly, just soft little flutters… or I have gas. Either way we’re playing.” He rested his hand over hers, leaning in to kiss her stomach, "I can't wait until I can feel them too.” 

The two of them were just laying there, Cullen was humming with his cheek pressed into her belly. Emily began running her fingers through his hair, smiling at the mess she was making twisting it in little curls. He took her hand and kissed it, everything was stimulating him lately he loved her touch. “Em, I wanted to talk to you about something, well sex actually. “ Grinning “OOHHH dirty secrets, do you want to play naughty mage and templar?” Cullen looked aghast “Wait what? Maker no! why does everyone ask me that? Andraste’s tears woman. I want to make sure you know that I want you, I don't want you to take my distance or reluctance to be with you in any way as a slight. I umm, well I have a plan and I suppose I should have told you about it.” Sitting up cross-legged she held his hands “I'm listening” he moved so she was sitting in between his outstretched legs facing him. 

Rubbing the back of his neck as he stumbled a little “Well, technically we’ve only had one night together, and while it was the absolute best night of my life, we also created this.” placing his hand over her stomach, his golden eyes looking up into her green ones “There isn't much that will top that, but I want our wedding night to be special, so I've been holding out for that. By then most of the sickness should be gone, you will be recovered. It also means I can take you hard and not worry about hurting either of you. Maker, I need to fuck you so bad.” Pulling his lips to hers she licked his and pressed him back onto their bed, does this no sex include no touching, ourselves… like Cullen would you get yourself off for me? make yourself come all over my breasts and belly, make me your dirty girl.” Cullen sat there for a minute his mind reeling at what she was asking, rather than answering, he got off the bed and dropped his pants his teeth gritted together “take off your shirt you're breasts have gotten big and maker I need to see them I can’t wait one more month, once I have you, I will take you every night.” She sat there with her shirt off the heavy breast in her hands pulling at her over sensitive nipples while he stood there fisting his cock. He came with a roar and coated her breast and belly with his seed. Panting fighting the war of wait or just have her now he managed control “Maker tonight I want to watch you make yourself come, Emily, I want to watch your fingers work, smell your nectar.”

Three days before the wedding Cullen woke to Iron Bull, Varric, his Dad, Dorian and Blackwall standing over their bed, Emily was giggling so he knew he was in trouble if she was in on this. Iron Bull was throwing back their covers “Rise and Shine Commander you're being kidnaped for your stag party. They didn't even let him get dressed properly they shoved trousers and a tunic at him grabbed his boots and then blindfolded him and heaved him over their heads singing bawdy tavern songs as they marched his prone body over their heads through the main hall out to a cart in the courtyard. Emily stood at the gate laughing calling out after them “Have Fun Storming the Castle boys.” Shaking her head laughing she could still hear him trying to protest. She knew they were meeting King Alistair at some Horse farm that Stable Master Denit owned in the Hinterlands for some drinking and racing Bull also said that there was tavern wench there that could tie a cherry stem into a box weave knot… or so he heard.”

So while the Boys were all away… the girls well girls just wanna have fun. It started with Vivianne trying to convince Solas to let her paint his naked skin gold wearing a special sock and nothing else, once that was done he would do an erotic dance, you know to bless Emily and Cullen’s bed. His reply was something along the lines of considering her current condition, he didn't need to shake his sock covered manly bits to ensure a fruitful bed. Evelyn finally had to ask Vivien to stop when she was randomly propositioning the recruits, she found her with a bizarre chorus line practicing in one of the lower chambers. 

The morning of her Stagette Emily was woken by Sera leaping into bed with her, pinning her down and kissing her, not just kissing her but KISSING her. When Emily grabbed the girl and flipped her on her back deepening the kiss the room erupted in cheers, pulling back she winked at the elf. “You wanna play with the big girls baby, you're going to get spanked” Sera gasped, when Emily grabbed her ass “Makers Balls Emily, screw Cullywully have my baby.”

Emily laughed, clapping her hands together “OOOOOHHH what are we eating?” everyone climbed into bed all of them still in their jammies. When she was asked what she wanted to do the day before, Emily said she wanted a Pajama day where everyone in Skyhold wore their sleeping clothes. So the word spread and from what Evelyn could tell walking to Emily and Cullen’s everyone so far had. All of Skyhold was invited to participate in how ever they could today. The first thing on the agenda was breakfast in bed, clapping her hands Mia had hot half naked serving boys bring in the food. 

Halfway through breakfast Sera looked at Vivian “Eh Viv, you really wear all that crap to bed?” Vivian gave her a cheeky look “why don't you come to my room some night my dear, and see for yourself.”

As the day progressed, they all had their toes and fingernails filed styes and glossed, they did a naughty scavenger hunt that included Sola’s small clothes amongst other things, equally scandalous. The poor elf was assaulted repeatedly, they only stopped when he threatened to set vivian on fire if she tried to rip them off him one more time.

Cullen’s new Second in Command Samuel was beside himself trying to keep 25 women in check without ruining their fun. He felt much older than his 30 years explaining to the Inquisitor that it was in fact, not ok to jump from the mage tower drunk. He didn't care if she had magic or not and in this case being the Inquisitor didn't help. She left mumbling something about “Mother Fucking Herald of Andraste Bitches, I do what I want!” She did it anyway and he threatened to throw her in the dungeon till Blackwall got back if she did it again. 

They decided to outsmart him he only said they couldn't jump off. So they tried to throw Solas off the mage tower but ,he wasn't drunk and he screamed like a girl. Samuel met them at the door leading to the mage tower stairs he just stood their with his arms crossed shaking his head no. He made them put the Elf down, even while they were telling him how much of a stick in the mud he was. 

They generally cause chaos and havoc wherever they went that day, dropping buckets of water on guards. booby trapping doors. jumping out of places. 

At one point Cullen’s mother suggested they run through the main dining hall topless, none of them could see a logical reason why not. When mother Giselle pointed out maybe Ladies shouldn't be showing their assets to all of Skyhold, her solution to that was body paint. It was like being covered... So they took it one further painted themselves like Avvar, they each tied four knots one in each corner on a small towel and ran through all of Skyhold with no tops on screaming retribution for my people throwing “goats” at anyone they crossed paths with. They stopped when Sam was standing in their way, looking very tired. Unimpressed even with the magnificent display of blue beasts at his disposal, Sam when he told them NO put your clothes back on, had 25 towel goats thrown at him.

They were all laying on the ground in the middle of the courtyard looking up at the night sky shouting out numbers between one and ten for each guard that walked by on patrol. When Samuel figured out what they were doing he rolled his eyes and let it go. Some of the men were having fun with it and dancing as they walked by. Two recruits did a wide routine, for them earning cat calls and Mother Giselle screaming take it off… Samuel choked on his water when he heard her do that. 

He had stopped even pretending he could let them wander on their own after they almost set the barn on fire. Evelyn turned her head to Leliana, “hey Lily Sammma lama here is kinda hot.” Liliana sat up on an arm and turned to look at their chaperone barely able to focus through the stunning amounts of alcohol they drank that day. She winked at him “Yea he kinda is, but after tonight he's probably never going to speak to any of us again… let alone let me ride the Lightning.” Sam cursed “Makers Balls, Ladies I'm right here I can hear you.” Emily the only sober one in the group giggled and rolled over looking up at him. “Well then good, you can answer, after everything we have put you through tonight…would you still let Leliana Ride the Lightning.” She wiggled her eyebrows at him. Refusing to answer he simply looked to the sky and whispered “Maker they can't get home fast enough.” 

Josephine pointed to the sky as she spoke “Speaking of the men folk, what do you think they are doing?” Evelyn answered “Iron Bull said they were taking Qunari gunpowder with them to blow things up and race various mounts.” Leliana turned to look at her “what kind of mounts? you mean like a hart and dracolisk?” Evelyn threw a shoe at her “why the fade would you race a hart and dracolisk? they are ridiculously unmatched a Dracolisk is skittish and prone to being hard to control you spend your time fighting it. a hart is a freaking snot ball they would rather ride you, than you them. if they think you're doing it wrong they just stop.” 

Sam was standing there shaking his head this debate had gone on for a half hour.He couldn't stand it anymore he had to say something, “Andraste's tits, the hart and dracolisk are evenly matched by an experienced rider, if they were raced it would be dependent on the rider's weight and experience how to handle them that would make the difference if you were to run the Beasties by themselves it could go either way.”

They were quiet for a minute then the snickers started and then the giggles Emily poked her sister “well I guess he told you.” once again Sam Prayed for the men to return home and take care of the girls this was too many at once.

It was well into the night when Sam was graced with Vivien’s chorus line of gold-painted men with a golden pouch held on with a drawstring, the girls loved it. Sam was sure he could never look his men in the eyes again, but they had volunteered and were having fun. More importantly Emily was having fun, he had promised Rylen he would keep an eye on her for him. It was common Knowledge that Sam was Rylen’s younger brother, but it was easy to forget because he didn't have the same accent. 

Sam soon learned the problem with Drunk girls, when they get tired, they get emotional, and drunk emotional girls in pajamas like to take them off. So he was constantly herding them from one thing to another, yelling at them like toddlers to pull their night dresses down from around their heads. Finally depositing them all in Cullen and Emily’s room. 

Before she walked in and closed the door Emily pulled Sam into the hall and hugged him “Thank you for today Sam, you didn't have to do all this, you put up with allot and I'm grateful.” He smiled at her and held her hand for a moment “I got to see today why he loves you so much.” she cast her eyes down nodding “how is he? Maker, I miss him. all things aside he was one of my best friends.” Sam nodded “he misses you too, and he’s… He will be ok.” she nodded a little sad “tell him, tell him I understand.” Sam nodded “I will, but you have to do me a favor. Bar this fucking door I need a break.” Laughing she nodded and went inside. Sam stood there till he heard the lock. Leaving to help scrub off gold painted soldiers.

The next morning Sam decided to have his revenge he brought the girls juice and muffins at 7am unlocking the door still, gold painted recruits in their uniforms holding trays Sam walked into what looked like a massacre there were woman sleeping all over the room 5 of them piled on the bed alone. Sam took his shield and broadsword banging them together shouting “Rise and Shine Ladies !!!! I bring you sustenance.”

Evelyn lifted her head trying to focus before she shouted out “Maker when did we start painting our soldiers gold? did I miss a meeting?” Josephine raised her hand from the floor unable to raise her head just yet “No those would be the dancers from last night.” Sam shouted louder than was needed “You, Ambassador Montilyet, would be correct and after 20 minutes of scrubbing the Inquisitor now has Golden guards, until it wears off they will be on duty to look after you ladies.” Sera called out “Does this mean you won't let her ride the Lightning Sam?” He opened his mouth to answer thought better of it and then left closing the door leaving the uncomfortable golden men in the room. 

Everyone slowly came to life leaving to their own rooms to get ready for the day. Evelyn took her golden boys with her. 

The men all came riding back around noon refreshed and laughing. Sam met them at the gate waiting for his Commander to read the report he was about to hand over, accounting everything that happened last night. Cullen stood there for a good 5 mins reading every once awhile saying some like Maker… finally, he looked up just in time to see a golden soldier walk by. That caught Dorian’s interest “Oh when did we start color coordinating the troops?” Sam cleared his throat… “that was one of the dancers from last night.” Cullen looked at the gold man, he had to be in his 50s. “tell me they didn't really try and throw Solas off the Mage tower to see if he would fly…” 

Sam nodded “I stopped them at the door to the mage tower they had a screaming solas above their heads and were running with him, you're mother threatened to bite me if i didn't move.” Cullen looked at him Shocked all the men clamboring to read this report. Ironbull shouted “Damn I'm partying with the girls next time, you really saw all their tits?” Samuel half grinned “All 25 pairs repeatedly, that part wasn’t so bad.” It was at that moment that Mother Giselle, Cullen’s mother Carolynn, Emily. Mia and Evelyn walked by and in chorus sang out “Good Afternoon Lightning” Sam just closed his eyes and cringed.” Cullen looked at him qwerking an eyebrow “do I even want to know?” Sam shook his head …”No Commander, you do not.” Cullen handed the report to Dorian who was still reading it laughing. 

Running after his wife “Emily!” She turned and grinned at him “Hello love muffins. Did you have a good time?” he nodded as he kissed her “not as good as you did, apparently but, yes we did.” he hooked her arm through his “where are we headed ladies?” the group sang out “Mabari puppies in the barn” Emily explained that the momma wandered in last night and had them this morning. 

Cullen stood back as they peeked in at the pups, he couldn't be around Mabari’s with out his eyes itching. “Master Dennit said to come back in a few weeks to see if any imprint on us.” Cullen nodded knowing he was going to be in trouble if she wanted one.

The night before the wedding his Mother and Sister kicked him out of his room. He had a romantic evening planned with his girl and they booted him out, and even commanders of the mighty inquisition don't sass, when their moms use their full names. So here he found himself in the tavern with Ironbull and the chargers before he dragged his sorry butt up to his old room without a roof.

Emily, Mia and Carolynn were sitting on her bed when Josephine and Leliana followed by Dorain and Sam carried in the stand with her magnificent gown on it. it was beyond her wildest dreams. She stood their hands over her mouth as tears coursed down her face. They carried in Evelyn’s dress as her Maid of honor and Mia’s and Carolyn’s the girls were all dressing in the room tomorrow. Dorian circled Emily’s dress “Maker its magnificent it was a sheer white over white satin with Black embroidered roses a magnificent drop waist belt that went to the floor. The sleeves, maker they were fitted until just before the elbow and then a bow adorned where the sleeves explode into full long bell shapes. The bottom edges of the sleeves and the dress were banded with black satin. It was breath taking, and she couldn't wait to put it on tomorrow. Sam smiled when she hugged him and Dorian. “Thank you both so much for dealing with my girly things like this.”

Sam nodded to her “Now I must take my leave of you all we have hours of set up before tomorrow, Sister Leliana would you accompany me I have a couple questions on matters of security.” She looked up questioningly “Of course Captain” and followed him out. 

Cullen and Evelyn’s rooms allotted privacy they were at the end of a hall and had an alcove right beside it with a storage closet before the stairs going down. Sam took Leliana’s hand and pinned her to the wall silencing her gasp with his lips. “Maker you made me so fucking crazy the other night, I was sure everyone knew we were lovers when you kept asking to ride the Lightning.

Tugging him into the storage closet she dropped her trousers and bent over. “Maker Sam please,” he didn't need to be asked twice he simply moved his clothing out of the way and slid into her holding onto her hips he rode her hard, his fingers gripping her hips as he had her. Through gritted teeth he begged “Lily touch yourself, I'm so close, but I need you to come for me baby,” when she was gasping, her velvet walls milking him he shouted his release pulling out and spilling on the ground. 

Sam pulled her into his arms “Baby, my beautiful Lily, I hate this sneaking around, please let's just tell them. I want to wake up with you in my arms damn it, I love you, I keep asking you to marry me and you keep stalling.” She moved against his body “the night of the wedding, tomorrow night, spend it with me, put someone else in charge and be my date. We will let them talk while we dance and kiss for all of Skyhold to see.” Nodding he kissed her hard “I love you, Lily, so much.” Leliana smiled caressing his cheek “I love you too Lightning.” he groaned “Maker all the girls are calling me that now and they have no idea what it means. Laughing she bit his shoulder. he begrudgingly let her go back in the room while he went to work on this crazy set up Josephine had laid out, maker help them, it was going to be a long night.

They had turned the day of Emily and Cullen’s wedding into a Celebration for everyone. It was family readying for a wedding the cooks were making food for their Emily and Cullen, the soldiers were mostly off today doing set up Rylen had sent men to help so Skyholds could have the night off. Any jobs people had involved preparation for the wedding and enjoying the celebrations. The main courtyard had been transformed it into a forest wonderland, with 2 beautifully intricate arches at either end of the aisle covered in branches and flowers. The pathway through them down the aisle was a solid path of white flower petals, chairs were lining either side. thousands of small lanterns hung all over Skyhold, waiting to be lit that evening turning the area into a thousand candle lights. All the heraldry had been replaced with banners of two gold rings on white satin, the main hall was swathed in miles of wide strips of white gauzy fabric. It starting at the chandeliers draping to various spots on the wall and hanging down to the floor. The chandeliers were draped in white flower garlands with crystals hanging from them they looked like giant glowing flower balls with jewels. Tables lined the walls covered in deep red damask cloth two tall candelabras graced each table adorned with flowers and hanging jewels. if it could be draped in fabric or covered in flowers and jewels it was. This wedding would rival anything ever seen before. 

Emily had made her own cake, it had taken her a full day to decorate it, even the morning of the wedding her hair bound in strips of linen to make it curl, found her in the main hall placing all the flowers. It wasn't the traditional layers of hard fruit bread and cheese with fruit. This was real cake, it was seven layers high. She had made unusual paste frosting she had to roll out that made it look like it was draped in fabric, she sugar coated edible flowers giving them a gloss and cascaded them down the tiers ending with a pile of color at the base. the cooks were in awe of her creation. 

Musicians had been brought in from Val Royeaux, they could be heard tuning their instruments making Emily dance while she was working on the cake. When Cullen walked in he just stood there marveling at her talent but also that she was wearing cotton trousers that were rather clingy and a matching jacket with the words Mrs. Rutherford embroidered across the back. His sister crept up behind him covered his eyes and shouted “Run Emily!!!” Emily dashed to the kitchen, he didn't see her again until she was walking towards down the aisle later on.

The men were all in the Inquisitors room getting ready, The women were all in Emily and Cullen’s room Emily sat while they fluffed and pinned her raven locks into place, it was swept up and the sides pulled back with tendrils cascading around her face. Cullen’s mother had a beautiful pewter and ruby hair pin that they placed in the back of Emily's hair with small jeweled tipped pins scattered throughout. 

Her eyes were lined with paint and powder that she had never seen before, by an artisan from Val Royeaux. When she looked in the mirror, she gasped it was the first time in her life she felt beautiful truly beautiful. “Maker Anastasia you need to live here and do this for me every day!” Stepping into her dress she felt, like a princess she held her head a little higher there was a little more swagger in her hips she felt amazing. When William knocked on the door nodding to his wife. He mentioned that Cullen needed his mom, stopping the panic before Emily could even ask he clarified “he just needs someone to fuss over him a little giving them a moment, he's fine just nervous and excited, much like I would assume you are. Ladies if you're ready may I have a moment with my daughter in law before we start here in a few minutes.” 

William waited till the door closed before he walked over to her, taking her hands kissing the back of each “Hello beautiful girl, so my son has told me why your parents aren't here. I was wondering if you would do me the honor of letting me walk you down the aisle and give you to my son. I didn't get to with Mia, and well it’s something I would love to do.” She could only nod, if she spoke the tears she was barely holding back would flow and she would ruin all of Anastasia's work. He hugged her tight rubbing her back “sweetling I'm proud to call you one of my own, and I know it will never mend the hurt they caused, but you have a family who loves you. We are so grateful for everything you have done for us. Most of all the way you love my son, he's a better man because of you. Mia never said the reason she was on her way here to see Cullen was because his letters home were scarring both her and my wife. They were dark and angry, he was spinning into a place we worried he would never come back from. You, my precious daughter, are his light, his beacon, you have given him back to us, nothing I can say or do will ever be enough. Today you become a Rutherford and I have never been more proud to share my family name with someone, he smiled well two someones.” placing his hand on her belly. Evelyn knocked on the door “I don't want to rush you, but we are ready.” William held his arm out to his new daughter “Shall we go put the man out his misery before he comes and gets you himself ?” Emily giggled nodding. 

It felt like every single person in Skyhold was watching her walk down the aisle they held the ceremony outside so even those on patrol could stop and watch. The music played and the flowers parted as she stepped through the magnificent archway walking behind Evelyn, on William’s arm. Making their way to a very well groomed and gorgeous Cullen, dressed in Inquisition Military formalwear much like what he wore at the winter palace but in White with navy blue sash and belt. When their eyes met, William had to pause because she gasped stuttering in her step. Cullen smiled at her, she watched a traitorous tear roll down his cheek. Finally standing in front of each other Cullen hugged his dad, Emily kissed William’s cheek whispering “Thank you Daddy.” before he placed her hand in Cullen’s. 

The ceremony was traditional with vows, they included the ceremony of binding hands. When the revered mother said the words Cullen you may now kiss your Bride. Just as his lips met hers all the soldiers on the ramparts released doves. The crowed cheered as the newlyweds ran back down the aisle to the main hall. 

She had seen it in varying stages but all together it was amazing. They spent the next half hour standing at the main door to the hall being hugged kissed and well wished. When they finally entered it was to cheers and music they took to the dance floor and had their first dance as husband and wife. Cullen held her tight whispering how amazing she looked, Emily giggled and whispered back he looked positively sinful and so incredibly sexy. They ate, they drank, the party was a success when people tried her cake they were all amazed. The wedding was every little girls dream, She spotted him across the room talking to his brother, she was surprised to see him. When Cullen pointed him out he said Rylen had brought men to Skyhold to give our men the night off. It was Cullen that suggested she go dance with him, he knew she was upset at how he had just left, this might give her closure. 

Rylen knew the moment she was approaching, he saw it on his brother's face, she put her hand on his arm “Hello stranger, care to dance?” he paused so long in his answer she was certain he was going to turn her down, finally nodding he took her hand and moved to the floor. Pulling her into him, closer then he should but he didn't care. They moved together through the various steps, He hadn’t thought it would hurt this much, it had been months since he last saw her. But this, seeing her on what could have been their wedding day had him behaving very coldly. “So Mrs. Rutherford, you look exceptionally beautiful, Impending motherhood seems to agree with you.” She touched the side of his face, he was refusing to make eye contact with her “Ry?” He didn't want to but his body betrayed him, looking into her eyes, he was lost cursing “Damnit” he took her hand and dragged her to the balcony “Look, I'm sorry I left without saying good bye, but you have to understand Lass you have my heart. I respect your decision, and your marriage so I cannaugh do this, someday maybe I can be your friend but not yet, it's too raw too open. However, if you are ever in need, if you are in trouble or anything, I will come.” 

She nodded and kissed his cheek “Good bye Rylen, till someday.” she left him standing on the balcony gripping it with white knuckles. Cullen stepped up beside him “thank you for that, I know how hard it was.” Rylen just nodded Cullen clapped him on the back “for what it’s worth I miss you too, did Sam tell you what the group of crazy girls did?” Rylen laughed remembering his brothers acount of watching the Inquisitor throw herself off the mage tower and then have “towel goats” thrown at him “Aye he told me what the Lassies did while you were away, I truly do naugh know what's worse the drunk inquisitor or the fact that Emily was sober.” The two men stood their in silence Rylen spotted her laughing talking to his brother and Leliana. Clapping Cullen on the shoulder “I love you like a brother, and i'm happy for you both, but you know why I cannaugh stay.” Cullen nodded and hugged him, “I understand.” With that he called it a night hiding in his old room that his brother occupied now, waiting for morning so he could leave. 

Cullen swept his wife up into his arms taking her to the dance floor and nodded at the musicians then made eye contact with Leliana and the rest of the wedding party. He had planned this for well over a month, with Emily on bed rest it made it so much easier to have surprises. They all stood directly around the dance floor as Cullen took her in his arms and began singing a song he had written for her. His parents, her sister, their friends swayed to his beautiful voice all of them adding melody to the song with additional vocals. This time she did cry makeup bedamned, hugging her husband tight she moved with him. His voice like a caress. 

They were able to extract themselves finally making their way to their room. When Cullen finally had the door locked his back against it grinning. “Well wife, we are finally alone.” Wrapping her arms around his neck “I believe Husband you are correct, care to untie me so we can be alone and naked.” grinning as he kissed her “Maker yes!”

He untied her dress sliding it down her arms moaning at the fact that she was naked underneath it “Maker's breath Emily all day you had no smalls on?” she nodded giggling 

Laying on their bed, he was caressing her, his fingers manipulating her clit as his tongue was thrusting in her mouth. Emily was moving her body against him, riding his fingers her breath was catching. Kissing her lips, he pulled back looking into her eyes brushing her hair back with one hand. He needed more and he hoped she would give it to him “do you trust me not to hurt you, and that I will never force you to do something you don't want?” She nodded, he moved her body so she was turned over on her knees tying her hands to the headboard. Putting pillows under her stomach and spreading her legs his fingers ran through her slit and she shivered. “Are you ok with this?” she nodded “I need to hear you say it my love so I know you're really ok,” his hand caressing the small of her back squeezing her ass. She gasped “Maker yes Cullen, I want this.” He swatted her ass playfully grabbing each globe in his hands massaging them while he kneeled behind her. Leaning down licking her from clit to asshole pressing his tongue into her ass, she moaned and wiggled. He slapped her ass, she gasped as he caressed his palm print asking again “Emily are we still ok?” she nodded responding breathless “Yes my love it's amazing.” Cullen rewarded her with a slap on the other side and caressed it. When she didn't protest he paddled her ass with his hand quick blows in succession making her moan and writhe. Her reaction told him everything he needed, his cock was hard and he needed inside her. Pressing his tip in she gasped as he opened her, thrusting into her pussy. His fingers caressed her asshole, she cried out when he pressed a finger into her ass, fucking both entrances. She went wild under him, begging him to take her harder using his fingers he thrust three in her ass and pounded into her pussy his hips moving as fast as he could. 

When she came, she screamed his name. When he came he roared hers, clinging to each other he was kissing her shoulder and she was caressing his hands holding her “Cullen?” he kissed her shoulder again biting her softly as she moaned she continued her question “Umm I was reading one of your books, after I moved them over… it was talking about some bed stuff… I wanted to know if you could try something?” he rolled her onto her back, she was beet red in the candlelight. “Why don't you go get the book and show me,” she leaped out of bed and he watched his naked wife cross to her wardrobe and pull it out flipping to the page she ran back and thrust it at him. He looked down at the page and smiled “ok.” 

Tossing pillows on the floor moving her ass to the very edge of the bed. Leaning her backward and resting her hands and head on the pillow with her back against the bed. Moving around, taking her legs spreading them wide, angling Cullen thrusts into her from above she screams at how deep he is, begging him with words he's never heard her used before. The vulgarity was so fucking hot making his control slip just a little. When she kept asking “Cullen fuck me hard!” He lost all control taking her savagely, when she was slipping down he picked her up and fucked her standing up bouncing her on his cock slamming against the wall as he lost all control. When she came she bit his shoulder hard enough to draw blood and his back was covered in scratch marks but the whole time she was begging for harder. When he filled her pussy he felt his orgasm ripped from his toes, he had to stumble to carry her to the bed. 

They passed out, but when he woke up his hands were tied above his head and she was tieing his leg up finding himself completely restrained he panicked a little. Till he saw her kneeling between his thighs rubbing her own clit as she was staring into his eyes. “So I found a well-worn book tucked in behind some others, the pages were very well worn now you may have wanted to do this to me but… I think you really wanted someone to do it to you, Commander. To make you give up the power so my darling husband now … I'm going to fuck you…” Cullen groaned and almost came right then, she took out a wide riding crop and flogged his thighs his breath coming in pants and his cock was oozing. Straddled his face, Emily grabbed his hair “fuck me with your tongue.” She road his face and came hard slumping against the headboard. turning around she pressed her center into him, sucking his cock to the base, lapping at him she could feel his impending release.

He was begging her to untie him so he could take her, shaking her head as she hovered over him, letting him slide deep into her. She cried out, arching back as his moans joined hers, she took him deep inside. Emily took him hard, her hands pressed against his chest when she could feel him about to come she stopped and just sat there with him inside her. Cullen raised an eyebrow at that until she clenched around him and he gasped. 

When she fucked him to the brink 3 more times without letting him come he wasn't raising his eyebrow at her this time. this time he was begging her to let him. Leaning forward he bit her nipple as she moved to release his hands. Once he was free he grabbed her and flipped her backwards on the bed untying, his legs as he fucked her savagely. Pumping into her he screamed “I love you Emily.”

When she awoke later, he was standing on their balcony it overlooked the mountains which was good because The Great Commander Cullen was stark naked in the moon light. Slipping in behind him she kissed his shoulder wrapping one arm over his shoulder the other around his chest, he held on to her hands. She whispered against his skin “hello my love.” Cullen smiled pulling her in front of him caressing the side of her face “Hello beautiful, I hope I didn't wake you?” she shook her head laying it against his chest “No I was hoping for a round six and seven.” his deep voice laughing in the moonlight “I see.” Pulling her back against him he bent her forward over the railing placing one of her legs along it, he slid into her slowly from behind. Their pace was lazy but he had full access to her his hand finding her clit he began stroking in rhythm with his thrusts, their releases being shouted to the gods.

They didn't leave their rooms for three days, food was left at their door in baskets. They ate and they made love played chess danced, he sang to her. The last night before they knew they had to get back to reality they had a 3 hour bath together, Cullen sat behind her in front of the fireplace and brushed her hair until it was dry and shone. They hadn't put any clothing on in three days, that morning it was almost painful to get dressed in armor. It helped that she shaved him every morning now, naked when she was done she would impale herself on his cock, her head massages and the act of dragging what is essentially a weapon over his face always made him hard. he loved how she was just starting to show. leaning down to kiss their child when she was helping buckle him into his mantle. 

With both of them dressed for the day, they headed out hand in hand to begin their life, as a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is totally the face Sam is making the entire night of the bachelorette party 
> 
> http://imgur.com/gallery/fVx8xzz


	5. Cullen and Emily chapter3

They settled into a routine around Skyhold it was still odd every time Cullen looked down at his hand and saw his wedding band, as a glowing beacon of the love he shared with the amazing woman who wore its counterpart, the sight always made him Smile. His parents and sister actually moved to Redcliffe so they could be close to the growing family. Even though she was a member of the Inquisition Cullen refused to let her do anything other than advise, It was a fight Emily was never going to win especially when her sister was the one who chose the party she took. She was quickly taking on the role of the diplomat 

 

Her current love, when she wasn't meeting with heads of Thedas, was her baking. Cullen being an early riser she got up with him and would bake something for the evening meal at Skyhold, some days her experiments were wonderful and other days… well, she was pregnant and the people loved her so they were still wonderful, just more left over. 

She was past morning sickness, well into her sixth month closing in on her seventh. Dorian said they were both healthy and doing great. Cullen loved her rounded belly, he said now that he could feel the baby move it made it realer. 

The one thing Cullen did with her, at Dorian’s insistence that as long as he didn't beat the crap out of her, sparring would help keep her muscles in good shape and make delivery easier. Every day they walked and when he had time they sparred, Sam was a good sport and would step into the ring whenever Cullen couldn't. Bull said he found it unnerving that someone with her belly sticking out that far could kick that much ass. 

Sam and Leliana let their romance be known, it was fun to watch the two of them together and even though she missed hanging out with his brother. Sam had fit into Rylen’s shoes very nicely. 

Skyhold was, for the most part, normal, and quiet. The quiet is what was making everyone testy. They were working on plans for their next attack, but they didn't have a definite place to go just yet.

 

Emily didn't think she just reacted when the White haired elf had Varric by the throat against the wall, before the stranger could even react her daggers were crossed over his silver white skin her voice in his ear “give me a reason.” She heard her husband shout “Fenris!! put Varric down and my wife will back away.” we don't need any more bloodshed. Fenris heard Emily gasp “The Fenris, Hawke’s Fenris. Maker no.” She threw her blades on the floor in front of him, he had to let go of Varric because he was suddenly holding a sobbing Emily and she was actually taller, bigger then him, and quite obviously pregnant. He looked at Cullen for help, Cullen looked at the elf quirking an eyebrow and shrugged. 

Varric rubbed her back “It's ok Cookie, I know why he’s here.” a voice Varric would know anywhere broke the silence “Come on darlin no one likes a wet elf, hun you need to let him go before he becomes even more unbearable.” Looking past Cullen there she stood the Admiral herself, Isabella, in the flesh, and there was allot of it showing. 

Varric called out to her “Rivaini!! what are you doing this far inland?” her laugh was throaty “Someone had to make sure the sexy Elf didn't get killed, Varric you cheating bastard come give me some sugar.” She held her arms out Varric grabbed her pulling her in and pressing his face between her assets and kissing each. 

Fenris managed to calm Emily down and assure her that he was ok and that no he wasn't mad at her. Cullen held his hand out to the Elf “Good to see you again Fenris, you look well.” Fenris nodded “you too, I believe this belongs to you.” Cullen nodded holding his arms out to his Wife “Fenris this is my wife Emily, Emily this is Fenris.” he nodded “A wife and baby on the way, Knight-Commander I would have never guessed you for a family man. I suppose Hawke told you we are expecting a baby of our own.” Cullen’s face fell his saving grace was Emily became an emotional mess at the news. “Excuse us, pregnancy makes her weepy at times.” They left quickly to their suits. 

Fenris knew something was up. he was here to find his wife. her last letter had been from here telling him they were going to head into a battle and then she was headed to Weisshaupt with Stroud and would return to him, for good they were supposed to settle down and raise their child. This was their time and she was a month past when she should have been home. He started with the last place her letter had come from. the messages he sent to her at Weisshaupt had never been answered.

The Evelyn and Leliana stepped into the hall. Her face turned pale when she saw Fenris, she had never met him, but she had spent enough time with Hawke talking about him that she knew Fenris on sight. Maker if he was here… he didn't know.

Varric stepped forward “Inquisitor may I introduce you to Fenris and Isabella. They have come because Fenris can’t seem to locate his pregnant wife.” Varric was giving her the OH SHIT look. She hugged Isabella and took Fenris’s hand “Varric could you come with me and Fenris, I would like to give him all the information we have in private.” Nodding Varric followed thinking they should have Bull, Cullen and the Inquisition army on hand when they tell him about Hawke. 

Evelyn ushered them both into a guestroom at Skyhold it took Varric a moment to realize it was Hawkes room and all her stuff had been untouched. Fenris Looked around recognizing his wife's things “Maker she's still here? She's leaving me isn't she, Maker I behaved like an ass when she told me about the baby. I knew she was mad, but I never thought she would… Inquisitor, you have to help me, where is she?”

Evelyn shook her head and took his hands they sat down on the bed “Fenris, I didn't know Hawke was pregnant, if I had I would have never let her go.” Varric was pacing “Nug Shit, didn't you get my letter? broody” 

Fenris pulled his hands away, becoming more frantic, “Why are you talking like this? where is Hawke? where is my Wife?” Evelyn took a deep shuddering breath fighting back the tears that were threatening her eyes “Fenris, The fight at Adamant, We were sucked into the fade, Hawke she... I’m So.” he grabbed Evelyn by her shoulders screaming “NO, DON’T YOU SAY THE WORDS… don't you dare say the words. If you don't say the words then I haven't lost them both.”

Evelyn and Varric were openly crying “I’m sorry Fenris she's gone.” Varric would recall this exact moment many many times, when he wrote any time he needed to know what the sound of a heart breaking was, this was it. The wail that echoed through the halls was so filled with so much sorrow, you could feel it, in your soul . 

They helped Fenris sit down he was numb, the room held her things. It smelled like her soap, he needed her to know, he wanted her to know, pulling a tiny pair of booties from his pocket it had been how she had told him they were going to be parents, they together had created life. Now he had lost them both, if only he had come with them. 

Evelyn sat beside him and rubbed his back Fenris, She loved you. She was talking our whole time together of the adventures she had with you and her last thoughts and words” Evelyn and Varric both choked back sobs remembering, the determination and love in her face as she made them leave her behind. In a shaky breath she continued “Tell Fenris my last thoughts were of him and our family, I love him, I'm sorry, its not his fault.” He nodded when Evelyn and Varric got up to leave, Fenris’s hollow voice stopped them “tell me how.” Evelyn shook her head “I told you we were in the fade.” he jumped up and grabbed her arms “No damn you tell me everything. What killed her, did you bring back her body was she in pain?” nodding they sat back down and started at the beginning when it was over Fenris just sat there stunned “so she may still be alive? you never saw her fall never saw a body, my wife and child could be alive just in the fade!” 

Varric shook his head “You didn't see the size of that, whatever the hell that was…” Fenris shouted “Neither of you saw her die, she could be alive, alone and very pregnant, I need to get into the fade.” Evelyn knew this was madness and grief “Talk to Solas he has forgotten more about the fade than most people know. Fenris, if there is a way to go in even if it’s to claim her body I will go with you. Lets go see Solas”

They ran into Cullen on their way. Fenris stopped and hugged him, “Tell your wife I'm sorry, and Maker... Cullen just hold her, hold her extra tight for those of us who can’t hold ours.” Cullen stood their absolutely stunned nodding “I will.” 

Isabella had found the tavern and more significantly she met The Iron Bull. The two were currently debating who could out drink who. Varric shook his head knowing that was a broken bed waiting to happen. Calling to her “Rivani, Broody needs you.”

 

Isabella climbed off Bulls lap, heading to the door with a definite swagger. “Bull told me about Hawke, how is he doing?” Varric just looked at her, she nodded “right … sorry. So what are we doing” Varric sighed “going to see an elf about a walk in the fade.”

Solas was explaining to Fenris how it worked, he was willing to try, Solas made no promises and he revealed that he had been trying occasionally to find her, but he needed to be out in the woods and with Fenris’s help to watch over him he could search longer. The Inquisitor released Solas from any obligation to the inquisition giving him anything he needed to search. Fenris and Solas spent the rest of the day making plans of where the best place would be to start trying.

Emily was lying in their bed reading correspondence answering invitations When Cullen walked in his eyes all red he was sniffling. Awkwardly getting off the bed she ran over to him “My heart! What's happened? amidst a sneezing fit he turned and pointed to the 7-month-old Mabari puppy standing behind him “Maker, I went to the stables to ask Master Denit about horses for Solas and Fenris, and it attacked me, jumped through the pen and toppled me on my ass.” Covering her belly with her hand she couldn't help but laugh. Looking the new family member over “well aren't you a pretty girl, what's your name?” Cullen was walking to the Bathroom to wash his face “Call her pain in my ass, Damn dogs make me sick every time. Maker, of course, she would imprint on me.” Cullen came back to find his wife on her knees the floor with his dog, scratching the dog's belly going “Who's a good girl? who's a good girl are you a good girl.” Wiping his hands on a towel “Gingersnap, Ginger for short?” 

Helping her up off the floor his hand caressing her belly “speaking of names shouldn't we start thinking of one?” She looked at him grinning “I've thought of several, but you keep making that face when I mention them.” he gave her the look “I don't consider naming our future daughter Endora or our son Aero a viable option or even a suggestion.” she laughed and kissed him how about Finn, Cooper or Bailey for a boy or Hannah, Emma, Abigail for a girl?” he nodded trying them all out… “hmm I like them, try them out see what sticks?” Nodding she was pulling him to their bed “right now Commander I think you need a nap.”

Pulling her shirt over her head as he followed her “Yes, I'm feeling the need to lay down.” releasing her breast band they all but exploded into his hands, taking a nipple in his mouth he had her all but panting already “Maker I love how responsive you are and insatiable. I've taken you three times today and I can feel how wet you are already, I'm going to need to chain you to our bed so you don't start rubbing yourself on people.” She laughed then cried out as his fingers slid into her, moving against his hand she was panting. “On your back Commander, I need you inside me.” Straddling his hips they both hissed as she slid down his shaft gasping she rocked against him, they moved together. Cullen’s hands on her hips thrusting up into her watching her pleasure wash over her body. When Cullen moved over top of her, thrusting in he could feel his release tingling right there. Before she could figure out what happened Cullen had screamed and was standing on the other side of the bed Ginger’s head was resting on the side of the bed where he had just been. Cullen was pointing shouting “She licked me, She licked my ass cheek” Emily was laughing so hard she couldn't breath, gasping she managed to get out “good thing she didn't bite the dangly bits, or this would be our only baby.” he gave her the not amused look, then wagged his finger at Ginger Snap “You missy, don't belong near our bed!” Ginger's ears drooped and he felt bad, Emily gasped “oh Ginger he didn't mean that, you're daddy loves you.” patting the end of the bed the Mabari hopped up curled in a ball and sighed. Cullen shook his head as he put his pants on “Maker I pray for a boy or I'm seriously outnumbered in this family.” 

Ginger stayed with her while Cullen went to a meeting. Emily went back to her correspondence, One had peeked her interest it was addressed to her specifically which wasn't really odd she had been doing this job for months and most missives for her said The Inquisitor or her Ambassador E. Rutherford. This one was addressed to E. Trevelyan requesting she attend a fertility ritual at a nearby town two days from now. 

Emily took the invitations to the council meeting that night and presented them all some were accepted some were declined, but she asked if she could attend the fertility one herself. Cullen was worried that she was a sacrifice or something. Leliana calmed his fears “Maker no, every year around this time and in spring the village sends the same invitation out, they probably sent it to Emily because she's traded in that village before and they know she's pregnant, it requires all the men to be on a hunt, and moonlight chanting around those who want to get pregnant, honestly the midwife that will deliver your babe will probably come from that village so. I see no harm in her going Post a few guards out on the road leading into the village as long as the men don't enter, not an issue. It supposed to bring good luck and an easy birth for those already with child.” Emily sat forward “well then it's settled I will leave tomorrow and stay with a midwife for two days get my chant on,” she could already see the protest rising in Cullen. “It will be the last invitation I accept until our child is a year. If my being there will help even one woman to conceive then hey it was worth it,” her eyes caught her sisters, she held out her hand. “Do you want to come with me Eve, we could chant for you?” 

 

It wasn't common knowledge, but Evelyn and Blackwall had been trying to conceive for over a year and nothing was working, everyone around them it felt like they were all pregnant except her. It was getting harder and harder to plaster the I’m so happy for you face on when inside she was crying. Shaking her head, Evelyn grinned rubbing Emily’s belly “I will just lick your belly when you get back.” 

Emily started laughing pointing at Cullen “Speaking of licking.” His eyes snapped to hers “Maker's Breath you wouldn’t?!?” laughing hysterically now nodding “when we were having a nap earlier today the dog, licked Cullen, totally killed the mood.” shaking his head turning bright red “nothing i sacred in this place i swear,” looking around the table he speared them each with his gaze. “Yes the dog licked my ass while I was fucking my wife.” Emily looked shocked, Leliana trying very hard not to laugh as they all filed out of the room “There is no need to be crass Commander.” with that all the women broke into hysterical laughter and he just walked away once again saying “Maker I need a boy.” 

 

everything was settled, she was delivered to the Village with a small guard waiting outside the village limits. Emily was welcomed in the home of the Midwife, who promptly made her sit down and put her feet up. They chatted waiting for dusk to fall. 

The ritual itself was fun and enjoyable they danced and swayed rhythmically to drums. there were no men in the village so Emily just wore a long skirt and a small shift letting the women of the village rub and kiss her belly. Prayers were said for her and the others in the same condition, all the women that partook in the ritual in the spring were now heavy with child. 

The Midwife thanked her so much for coming, she said they had stopped sending the Inquisitor invitations because she never came and they didn't want to insult her. Emily hugged the older lady “well I'm glad you decided to send me one this year, this was fun.” The midwife looked at her oddly “we didn't send you one Emily, at least I don't think we did, maybe one of the younger girls.” before Emily could ask her more questions the midwife was called away one of the girls was having pains. Entering the midwife's house she settled into a chair, then her world went black. 

Cullen stood in the middle of the village three days later “I understand that, but who sent this letter, then?” The leader of the village shook his head “that's what I'm trying to tell you, Commander, no one here has any knowledge of that invitation, our invitations are normally word of mouth or on rare case penned on homemade parchment. this is fine linen parchment penned by a scholar.” The elderly man put his hands on Cullen’s shoulders, we will find her son, we have some of the best trackers in Thedas on it. There was no foul play here by us, we were honored and surprised your wife came. We will get her and your babe back to you. 

 

When she woke it felt like a fog was wrapped around her she, felt like she was in a dream, like she was supposed to remember something that was on the tip of her tongue but maker what was it, sitting up the fog she needed to be somewhere, someone would be waiting for her, but who. Maker if she could only remember. an arm pulled her back into the bed, it was a man's arm there was a man in her bed she felt the baby move and almost screamed Maker she was pregnant! her panic rising the strange man in the bed with her was naked from the waist up pulling her into his arms his smell was familiar, it was comforting it was soothing, she knew somehow she was safe and he would protect her, she was loved. his voice saturated her brain, she knew that voice somehow she knew. 

He pulled her into his arms making her stop, stroking her hair while she fought against his chest. Kissing the top of her head he just kept saying “you're safe and you're loved” over and over until she gave up and clung to him, sobbing into his chest. He held her swaying slowly. Pulling back she looked up into his face his beautiful blue eyes and mussed dark hair, she knew this man she loved this man… Who the hell was this man? 

His hand moved from being protectively on her stomach, to pushing her hair back behind her ears and cupping her face, making her look up into eyes she recognized, they held so much love for her. Leaning in he kissed her lips softly, it wasn't a demanding kiss but it was more intimate than one shared between friends. “Welcome back my Lass, you had me so scared, the doctors do naugh think you suffered more than a bump on the head, they say your memory is going to be patchy for a time and I have to take it slow. But Lass they say our wee Babe is hearty and hale. Here my love drink this, it has special herbs to help clear the head and help the wee one.” 

She took the glass shakily in both hands, noticing the wedding band on her finger she scanned and spied the matching one on his finger. Blinking she started to cry, “maker I don't remember anything.” Pressing his lips to her forehead “it's ok my love, we can remember it all together. Let's go back to sleep, we can solve all our problems in the morning, for now lass. I need to hold you and touch you, Maker you had me so scared when you fell into that lake and almost drown.”

He pulled her body into his, kissing her neck, his voice shaky with relief as he held her “Maker Lass I Love you so much.” The familiar smell and feel of him over road the lack of memory his left hand was caressing her swollen belly, she placed her hand over his their rings glinting in the candle light. Sighing as she fell asleep with a feeling that she was where she should be, but something was off. Yawning she snuggled into the man who held her, The man she loved? Emily couldn't keep her eyes open, maker she was tired. 

At that moment, Cullen was beside himself standing on the roof of the mage tower just staring off across the landscape lit by the moon, he had held it together, she had been missing for at least three days. Crumpling to his knees he shouted her name into the abyss.


	6. Cullen and Emily Chapter 4

The Inquisition was using every resource they had, King Alistair and Empress Celene were both lending armies to the cause. Evelyn hugged her brother in law, Cullen it’s just a matter of time before we find her. Think about who we're talking about here, five days ago she held daggers to an elf who could rip out hearts. We will get her and my Niece or Nephew back, he nodded and then just walked away heading to the sparring ring, he needed an outlet and Sam was the only one willing to give it to him. 

 

Emily woke in the arms of a man her body recognized but her brain was failing her, he had held her tight the entire night as if afraid she would flee. Sitting up she looked around the room, This she didn't recognize at all. He stirred beside her, she still didn't know his name, he kept touching her with such affection. “Where are we, I don't remember this place at all?” He smiled at her, his blue eyes sparkling “you would naugh my love, we were headed to Faulkner keep when you had your accident, you've never been here. This is our home now, You are safe here Lass and so is our wee one. 

Sniffling Emily started to cry a mixture of fear, pregnancy and frustration just overwhelming her at every turn. “I don't even remember my own name let alone yours, I don't remember anything.” 

Rylen got out of bed taking her water glass and filling it up again he took the bottle of herbs holding it up looking at her “ok now the midwife said two drops when you get up and two drops at supper time.” she nodded and drank the doctored water. 

Taking her hands in his he pulled her into his lap kissing her temple, rubbing her belly as he rocked her “So Lass, lets start with the facts, Your name is Emma Faulkner you are 22 years old we have been married for just under a year now. My name is Ryan Faulkner I’m 39, this here” his hand caressed her swollen belly “is what I hope will be the first of many babes you gift me with.” 

His calloused hand caressed the side of her face brushing back her hair, tucking it behind her ear. His thumb wiping away an errant tear, Rylen’s voice washing over her like a warm bath so soothing, her eyes fluttering closed as she listened to the story of her life. “We met in Griffon Wing keep, I was a soldier for the Inquisition, you were a baker in the kitchens. Maker lass It was love at first sight for me, I have naugh wanted someone so badly as I do you. You took some convincing, I asked you to marry me a few times, you finally relented.”his fingers gliding over her swollen middle “this little one, we made the very first time you welcomed me into your body, it was the night before I left for a huge battle, you had finally accepted my proposal we couldn't wait anymore. When I returned you told me about the baby and we were married within a month. I recently retired from the service of the Inquisition, we are now on our estate in Starkhaven. It's not huge, but we hold lands and a small cluster of farms, together we can help this community flourish, it was our dream to come back here so our children wouldn't grow up around soldiers and war.”

She smiled up at him and voluntarily kissed his lips softly, rolling his name on her tongue tasting it, it felt right, but wrong at the same time“Ryan” Caressing her cheek “Emma?” his lips pressed into hers making her moan and open to him. “Maker Lass, it's so good to have you back in my arms, I've missed you so much, I have ached for you,” laughing she caressed his face “you make it sound like we were apart?” Nodding as he kissed down her throat “I was on campaign right until we left, I met your caravan on the road and you fell shortly after I got there, we have naugh had a proper reunion. Her hand caressed his thigh she felt him tremble under her fingertip before his other hand stopped her from going any higher. “You had some bleeding lass, and it's best for you and the babe if, we hold off for a few days, believe me when I say it's not for lack of desire.” 

Kissing his chest, “how about we explore the rest of the keep, meet our people.” helping her off the bed, “I say, that sounds pretty perfect. Now that I have you back in my arms, I refuse to let you go.” 

Samuel, like the rest of Skyhold, was going crazy. It had been three weeks since she just vanished. The Commander had barely slept, he was fighting with everyone Cassandra threatened to put him in the dungeon of he didn't calm down. Sam didn't know how to tell Rylen, but he knew he had to, the first week she was gone he sent Rylen a letter to Griffon Wing Keep. Sam had expected him days after the letter rolling in with his forces barking orders doing everything to make sure Emily was safe. Now he just received a letter from GW saying Rylen had resigned and left two months ago. 

Dread filled him, shaking his head in denial he wouldn't be that fucking stupid...Sam had a really bad feeling about this, running to Leliana kissing her cheek “My love what do you make of this?” her eyes narrowed …”you don't think he would?” Sam threw his hands up “I never thought he would resign from the Inquisition either.”

Cullen was pacing like a caged animal, in the war room. Sam grabbed his shoulders “Cullen, I'm not saying he did this, and I'm not making light of the fact that it's possible, But think of the fact, if she is with him… If he somehow, in his infinite stupidity kidnaped her. He loves her beyond reason, you know she is safe and loved.” 

Walking over to the map Sam put a marker on the spot, “I know the only place he would go, I will head there in the morning with troops to find him. He will be there whether he did this or not, now that he's no longer a soldier. Faulkner keep in Starkhaven has been our family home for generations, now that Sebastian has reclaimed the throne, it’s safe to say he’s gone home, our parents handed it down to him, when they moved to the city. He will be lord and title holder. Now the question is, do we focus on Faulkner Keep sending troops there or do we send a small group to scout first?”

Emily and Rylen were the toast of their village, they loved walking it every day talking to each of the shop owners playing with the kids, picnicking beside the stream. The midwife had suggested they hold off making love until it was almost time, relations could bring on early labor at this point. Rylen was counting down the days until he could claim her as his fully, Emily was less eager. She thought it was probably just nerves, her loss of memory, being pregnant all rolled into a big ball of crazy.

 

They were lying by the stream Emily’s head was resting on Rylen’s arm, he had her pulled into his side, she was caressing his chest under his tunic. “Emma, do you remember our wedding?” thinking for a moment she shook her head “I'm sorry Ry I don't at all,” tears ran down her cheeks sobbing “what's wrong with me? Why can’t I remember the happiest days of our life together. Maker why am I so broken.” 

Holding her tight kissing away her tears “You're not broken my Lass, how about we have another wedding in our home with our new family surrounding us before the babe comes?” He kneeled before her “Emma Faulkner will you marry me, again?” laughing she hugged him “Yes Ryan I will.”

Walking back into the village they told everyone of their plans, the date was set, in a week she would be Mrs. Ryan Faulkner, again?

It was decided that Sam, Cullen, Cassandra, Varric, Evelyn, and Dorian would all go to Starkhaven. It was their best lead and had the most hope. Secretly they were all hoping Sam was wrong, no one more than Sam himself. It was a hard four days ride to the estate, Rylen was there in the courtyard to greet them. “Inquisition, what brings you to my doorstep?” Sam dismounted and hugged his brother “Emily has been kidnaped, when you left the Inquisition so suddenly we feared you may have lost your bloody mind and done something ridiculously stupid.” 

Rylen laughed, holding up his hand with his wedding band on it. “Not today my brother, I’m happily wed, it was the reason I left Griffon Wing so that my wife and I could start our lives together. You should all stay for dinner and meet her, she's at the market at the moment but should be back in a few hours.” Cullen slid off his horse, “Thank you, my brother, I was praying you had her so I knew she was safe, but also praying you didn't because… well, anyhow I’m happy you found your love.” Rylen held Cullen’s forearms. “If there is anything you need to help you find her, I will send whatever I have to scout and keep my ears to the ground out here.” 

They declined the offer to stay, with allot of ground to cover and this trip out here being a waste. Stopping in the village just beyond the keep for supplies, it was abuzz with activity they were setting up for a wedding for that afternoon. 

One of the stable boys greeted them “Inquisitor are you here for our lords Wedding?” Evelyn addressed the lad “I thought your lord was already married?” The boy laughed “he is, but he said he loves her so much that she needed a second wedding in their new home, to celebrate with their new family before the birth of their child.” 

Cullen’s head snapped to attention at the mention of a child “Mistress Faulkner is she very pregnant? does she somewhat resemble the Inquisitor?” the boy squinted “Ser she is due almost any time now.” looking over the Inquisitor nodding “yes the hair and the eyes maybe, Mistress Emma is over in the square setting up for the feast tonight if you want to meet her.” 

They stabled their horses, cautiously walking to the square, Sam made Cullen hang back. If it's her and you run screaming into the square, you will only startle her. If it is her, she has her reasons for not bolting and we don't know what that is, we could put her in more danger. 

Emily was laughing and having fun making flower wreaths for the girls hair, she felt lighter today. She was glad she hadn't taken her herbs this morning they always made her so tired and today she wanted to celebrate with everyone dancing into the night, making love until the wee hours of the morning with her husband. Tomorrow she would be a good girl and take them, today one day missing them wouldn't hurt. 

Her head was clearer than it had been, she was remembering little things like Her and Ryan’s first kiss, his golden eyes the first time they made love, wait Ryan’s eyes weren't golden. She shook her head in frustration, it’s all right there I can feel it, I remember a huge wedding at Skyhold, I remember dancing with Ryan, but he looked so sad. She tossed down her flower wreath “Damn it.” 

Annabelle next to her patted her leg, she knew what frustrated the girl “it will come back in time, like a flood Emma. you Cannaugh force it.”

Emily nodded “I'm going to go for a walk.” they all called out “not near the lake.” she stuck her tongue out at them scooping up a flower as she walked away. 

Sam was standing there his eyes huge, it was her, maker it was her. Dorian was physically holding back Cullen whispering “let the man do his job, she's safe.”

Sam was standing right next to her when she walked by, looked up and said “Hi Samuel” shocked he stuttered a reply “Hi Emily.” She took two more steps before she spun around “what did you call me? Maker, I know you, I know who you are!!” Sam rushed forward and caught her when her knees gave out. Sam was speaking rapidly, in a hushed tone “Emily honey, are you in danger? is my brother holding you against your will?” she looked up at him shocked “Why do you keep calling me Emily my name is Emma, Ryan would never hurt me, he loves me.” Sam took her hands, her back was to the rest of the Inquisition. “ Emily, your name is Emily and my brothers name isn't Ryan, it’s Rylen. has he hurt you? or spelled you? what happened?”

Emily closed her eyes, the rush of memories was overwhelming and made her dizzy. All of a sudden her eyes popped open “Oh Maker CULLEN! I need to find Cullen! where is.” Dorian released him and he was on his knees at her side, she was sobbing in his arms. her words coming in stuttered gasps “Maker my love I'm so sorry, oh sweet Andraste what I must have put you through.” he kissed her lips to silence her. “Are you hurt? can you ride,” she nodded “I’m fine, you can even have Dorian or Evelyn check me out. Evelyn Oh Maker is she.” before she could finish her sentence her sister was hugging her tight. Varric interrupted the reunion “I hate to cut this short, but if we are going to un-kidnap her we need to leave before the locals start to get suspicious.”

Cullen pulled her up onto his horse wrapping her in his cloak, they bolted from the village once they were a safe distance from Rylen. they stopped and made camp. 

She sat there and told them everything that had happened, Dorian interrupted her “I'm sorry luv but how did he keep your memories away, did he spell you?” she thought about it “Maker's breath it was the herbs! I have been taking them two drops a day two times a day, but they always make me so tired. So today I wanted to enjoy the day, I didn't take them. I started having random flashes of things this afternoon, turning to Cullen, I remembered our wedding, well parts of it. I remembered when we first made love but it was all jumbled together, I didn't understand what I was remembering.” 

She handed the vial to Dorian “this was what I've been taking since… well since I was kidnapped.” Dorian smelled it “Ahhh ok I see what he did, clever man your brother. He used herbs that it’s true would help the baby, but would also create memory loss, he must have saturated her with it on the four day ride here, keeping her unconscious. Then just kept her in a constant state of confusion feeding her half truths. Hence the Ryan and Emma, the met at Griffon Wing keep, things she all knew, but twisted the reality. Her mind believing because it was just enough truth mixed with the lies, the lies solidify into memories tainting them with the dosing every day. Eventually she would have lost the true old memories, they would have been shaped by the new ones.”

My dear if you would kindly go into the tent and I can examine you make sure you're really ok. Cullen held her hand as Dorian focused on their child, Dorian looked at Cullen and he could all but hear the question screaming in his head. “Emily I need to ask you one question when you were with Rylen did you two ever.” She felt Cullen tense beside her. Shaking her head “No, I was bleeding a little and the midwife advised against it.” sobbing into Cullen’s arms “I'm so sorry.” he held her face making her focus on him, his golden eyes boring into hers “Even if you had mounted him every night you were gone, I would still love you. You have nothing to be sorry for, he didn't rape your body, my love, he did much worse, he raped your mind and heart.” 

Resting his hand on her belly Dorian looked at them playfully “So, do you want to know?” Emily looked at him “Know what?” Dorian tweaked her nose “Boy or Girl?” They both nodded, “Well Mr. and Mrs. Rutherford you have continued the line of what I'm sure is going to be a very strapping young Lad, just like his father. However, we need to think about getting you missy to Skyhold post haste, your body is already preparing for his arrival.” She grabbed Dorian’s hand, “would it ok if Cullen and I?” the Mage sighed “well, yes and no. It won't hurt anything, but it could speed things up. Right now though I think the reconnection you both need, is worth the risk. If it comes right down to it, we can find a manger somewhere, I can deliver him.”

 

Cullen held her tight, tears running down both their faces, like soft butterflies his lips caressed hers each pass deepening like he was afraid she would vanish in a dream if he pressed too hard. Her hands held him still, Emily's eyes seeking out his, she needed to say something needed to assuage his fears “Cullen, I love you, and only you. Even when my brain was lost, my heart always knew home.” Cullen's lips crushed hers, his tongue thrusting into her teeth scraping moving their bodies together he was frantic with need. 

Cullen’s hands calloused from so many years wielding a sword slowly re memorized the lines of her body, caressing her hip as he bit her shoulder making her gasp moving against him. when his fingers found her slick folds she was lost, his fingertips circling the small slick pearl hidden gasping she bucked against his hand needing him inside her, feeling his fingers dip lower opening her to him. His lips at her ear “I love you Emily Rutherford” her voice barely above a whisper, “Maker Cullen I love you, but I need you to fuck me.” Lying behind her, her leg over top of his thigh, he thrust into her. Their cries filled the camp and they didn't care, maker be damned he had her back in his arms and in his bed. 

Falling back exhausted, Cullen pulled her into his side “you're never going anywhere without me ever. Twice you have been kidnaped, I won't live through a third. Maker, I was so scared, we had no clues nothing. If it hadn't been for Sam, we would have never known Rylen had left the Inquisition.”

Giggling she licked the side of his face, he feigned indignation but was loving every minute of his crazy wife. she was drawing patterns on his chest as she spoke which always meant that he wasn't going to like what she was about to say “So if you thought this was bad wait until I start going out on campaigns with Evelyn.” grabbing her hand he paled “Maker no!!! you wouldn't, I wouldn't survive.” her head fell back as she laughed “well when I'm not pregnant anymore and our son is weaned,” her statement was cut off by his. “Then your belly will be swelling with another and then another, I plan on keeping you in this condition for a few years my love.” 

Cocking an eyebrow at him “Oh really? just how many years are we talking.” moving over the top of her sliding between her legs, parting them. “Oh at least 4 more times.” Her protests were cut off by the whimper he wrung out of her as his tongue sliced through her center capturing her pearl and massaging it. Her fingers tugging, threading through his hair as he worshiped her center. Maker, he loved this woman so much.


	7. Cullen and Emily Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello Baby

Rylen had been taken into Inquisition custody, under the watchful eye of his brother. Samuel marched him back to Skyhold taking a different route than the one the others had. They didn’t speak the entire time they were on the road, Sam had nothing to say, he no longer had a brother. 

A day's ride from Skyhold Cullen knew she was in labor, he could feel her tense up about every 20 mins or so. Redcliff and his parents were closer. Coming to the fork in the road, kissing her temple he whispered “I will get you safe and comfortable, my love” Bringing his charger to a halt she needed down. Watching her pace, gasping holding her middle his decision was made. “Skyhold is still a half day's ride away, I honestly don't know if our son is going to wait that long. I'm going to take Em to my parents house, why don't you all head home. We will send word and be along in a few days, a week at most.”

Dorian and Evelyn protested, “we are coming with you. That’s my Nephew damn it and she may need a healer” Varric sighed “it's been awhile since I lost at the tavern here, I will go hang out for awhile. Come get me when there is a new Rutherford in residence and I will come see, listening to babies being born isn't really my thing.” 

Emily laughed “Can I come with you Varric, I think I changed my mind about this whole birth thing, so far seems highly overrated.” He winked at her “Cookie, you will do magnificently and have a gorgeous son when it's all done.”

Emily’s breath caught, she had to hold onto the side of the horse and her stomach as a contraction caught her off guard. “Well, that wasn't much fun.” Cullen helped her back onto their horse sliding in behind her. “My parents house is a few minutes away,” they Galloped as fast as Emily could handle, he had her sliding out of the saddle just as another one made her cry out clutching at him.

Cullen’s mother was running to hug her daughter in law, Maker, sweetheart we were so worried. Are you ok?” Emily started to cry gone was the rogue, before her stood a little girl who needed her mom. “Momma I'm so scared, it hurts.” Carolynn looked at her son “Maker, the baby already? Bring her in the house now, let's see how close my grandchild is to being in this world.” Cullen picked her up, just as he swung her into his arms she gasped and her water broke. Dorian called after Carolynn “He’s closer then we think.”

William was reading, when his Son walked in carrying Emily. Jumping up he was overjoyed until his wife was directing Cullen to one of the back rooms. “In there it’s closest to the kitchen for water and everything.” William was shocked “Now? Is she having the baby now? what if Cullen hadn't found her.” Dorian patted the man on the back “Well then she would be married to her kidnapper and having your grandson with him, so jolly good we got there in time for your son to jump start labor and now here we are at your house, broken water and all.” William looked like he might faint “Maker's Breath.”

They had her undressed and in a simple shift, within minutes, His mother took over, “Cullen go get a pair of your fathers night trousers and put them on leave everything else off. The skin to skin with your wife will be comforting and you can bond with your child when they are born.” Cullen nodded holding Emily in his arms. “I will be right back. If you need me I will be right here ok?” She nodded sitting on the side of the bed shaking a little. Carolynn held her “it ok my girl, it's all going to be ok, your baby will be here soon.” 

Shakily Emily nodded her normally loud and cheerful voice small and scared “it's a boy, we’re having a son.” Carolynn had to stifle back a tear, watching her grown son walk in with the trousers. Well, then I hope yours makes you even half as proud as ours has made us.” Cullen pulled Emily to her feet, holding her whispering words in her ear for just them. Carolynn could see her daughter in law's body visibly relax in his arms, Carolynn slid his hands from the middle of Emily’s back to her lower back and moved his fingers in a slow massage, she knew the girl was due for another contraction and if Cullen could keep her loose it wouldn't be so bad. When it hit Carolynn massaged Emily’s lower hips while Cullen held her and talked her through it. Once it was done she took over again, “Ok son get changed while Dorian and I see what’s happening.” 

Helping her lay down, Emily felt embarrassed so many people were looking at her pink parts. Dorian patted her naked inner thigh “while it is a lovely one, still not interested.” Cullen stood next to the bed in just the night trousers. Dorian pointed to him “Now that, however, yes please.” Cullen was standing where his mother couldn't see him, feeling cheeky he looked at Dorian and ran a finger over both his nipples. The mage for the first time in well ever was speechless, he just stood there and clapped “Bravo Commander.” Emily couldn't help but laugh at the exchange. 

Evelyn was braiding her sister’s hair, When Cullen slipped in behind Emily, wrapping his arms around her, his hands resting over hers on their son. William called into the room “is everyone decent I'm bringing in water for my grandson’s first bath.” Emily called from the bed, the coast is clear dad.” Mia came bursting through the door “I just heard you found her!” skidding to a stop as she walked in the room “Andraste's Ass, not a moment too soon.” Emily Grabbed Mia’s hand screaming, just as a contraction threatened to rip her in half. 

William looked like he was going to snatch her from the bed to save her from whatever terrible demon was trying to kill her. When the contraction was over, he kissed her forehead “I love you my girl, but I… I'm sorry I can't be in here when my grandson is born. There are some things a father just doesn't need to see.”

 

Cullen looked at his mom “How close is she?” Checking her again “I would say within the hour she will be pushing.” Cullen nodded “OK then I want everyone out, I want to spend this time with Emily alone. I will let you know when we need you, ok?” Carolynn smiled nodding “Alright son, we will be right outside the door so just shout when you're ready, walk if you need to get on all fours and rock if you need to whatever hurts less its all ok.”

Cullen slipped out of bed and pulled her into his arms, “Dance with me” wrapping her arms around his shoulders she pressed her head into his neck and he sang to her softly as they danced slowly around the room making her concentrate on anything but the pain. Every time she had a contraction he would sing a little louder.

They could hear him in the other room Mia and Evelyn were pacing “Maker what's he doing in there?” Dorian grinned “He’s making her focus, Making her feel loved and safe. He's singing to her helping her through this.” The girls just stood there shocked Carolynn sat in her husband's lap “Maker we raised a fine son.” 

Dorian nodded staring at the door “that you did Rutherford’s that you did.”

Cullen had her in a trance, the only words she whispered to him were “its time.” Thankfully they were close to the door, rather than breaking her concentration he stuck his hand out and waved. He wouldn't let them touch her, they stood there watching as he danced her slowly over to the bed and pulled her down against his chest whispering in her ear the whole time, her eyes closed her head back against his shoulders. Everyone was as quiet as they could be Evelyn and Mia on either side they held her legs back opening her so Carolynn could see. 

His head was right there, in a soft soothing voice Carolynn rubbed Emily’s leg. Her eyes fluttered open Cullen’s trance broken she began to panic. His lips at her ear whispering words over and over while Carolynn gave her instructions “ok my girl, this is the worst part, but it's over the fastest. Bare down and push, scream if you need to but push.” With her head thrown back it was more of a battle cry then a scream, With everything she had she pushed, she felt like she was splitting in two and crushing Cullen’s hands but when the contraction ended and her body fell back against his their sons head was out. She did it one more time, everyone was watching and cheering her on so close suddenly he was free, their son slipped into his grandmother's hands. 

Tears were running down everyone face Cullen couldn't see his son through his. The newest Rutherford was placed on his mother's belly, a towel rubbing his back until the room filled with his pissed off cry, at the bright light and loss of heat, just general oversaturation of all his senses.

Dorian took the baby washing him making sure he was ok before wrapping him up and handing him to his mother “If he was any more yours Cullen, he would have come out with a scar on his lip”

Sparkling golden eyes blinked looking at his parents his hair was blonde curls just like his dads, the face there was no doubt that he was a rutherford, he looked just like his grandpa and daddy.

When Dorian and Carolynn had Emily all cleaned up and taken care of Carolynn shooed everyone out saying “one hour, we can go make dinner and let them bond.” With that, they left the little family alone. 

Cullen was laying on his side watching his son greedily eat, running his fingers over the soft downy curls. the baby's fingers were flexing against Emily’s breast, his face was scrunched up as he drank. When he was full and burped, Emily made Cullen lay on his back, he was still shirtless. She transferred their naked son to his father's chest, it was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. The shock, then an unfiltered love that washed across Cullen was amazing, his entire body shifted and relaxed holding their son, Cullen radiated pure Joy. 

Emily crawled out of bed and eased herself into the warm water letting father and son bond. She managed to wash off the horse, dirt and everything else, the warmth helped ease the ache of childbirth a little. She finally felt clean, dressing in simple dress Mia brought, Emily slipped in beside her boys. Kissing her son's head, then her husband's lips “We did it, daddy.” Traitorous tears slipped from his golden eyes shaking his head “no my love you did it, you.. Sweet Maker, you are amazing, you sacrificed yourself for almost nine months, enduring pain I can't even imagine, to bring our son into the world. Words can't express how much I love you.” 

She kissed him deeply, “I couldn't have made it through today without you, next time we try for a daughter to torment this young one.” she kissed her son’s head, “Who still needs a name.” Cullen sat up with the baby pressed into his chest shifting him so he had the baby resting against his propped up thighs, facing them. The little one was already chewing away on his fist, huge golden eyes blinked back at them. Looking at his son Cullen’s voice thick with emotion “Finn.” Emily kissed his shoulder smiling “Finn William Rutherford” 

 

While she diapered and dressed Finn, Cullen pulled his shirt on. Opening the door to let everyone in, he was greeted with Ginger pouncing at him knocking him back and running for the bed. Cullen dove for the hound but missed panicking when she headed straight for the baby on the bed. Emily held up a hand when Cullen went to drag her away. “She’s part of our family too, she has a right to meet her baby brother.” Ginger laid her head on the bed next to Finn, he looked at her blinking, she sniffed him then licked his head, making his curls stand straight up. Satisfied with the new addition, Ginger settled down on the floor next to where the baby cradle suddenly was. 

Emily laughed, Apparently you were gone from Ginger to long, Shaking his head looking disdainfully at the dog “Apparently.” 

The small room was filled with family, Cullen gingerly presented his son to his father. William looked at the little man and then the large one in front of him tears in his eyes. “Maker I remember it like it was yesterday when your momma handed me you like this.” Cullen brushed back his son's hair looking at his dad from the corner of his eye as he said “I would like to introduce you to Finn William Rutherford.” William had tears running down his cheeks as he kissed his Grandson’s forehead “Welcome to the world Finn, I'm your grandpa.” he handed Finn to his wife and pulled his own son into his arms, hugging him tight. “I love you Cullen, and I'm so damn Proud of the man you have become.” William tugged Emily into the hug too “you too Missy, Maker you have given me some gray hairs this past year but, I couldn't ask for a better daughter.”

Evelyn held her nephew, it tugged at her heart. So much could have gone wrong, she could have lost her sister all together to an abusive man if her parents had their way. or sold to slavers, or brainwashed by a crazy jilted lover. Yet after it all here they stood, strong and intact with a new life joining their chaos. Never before had her task seemed more important that when she looked into the eyes of her nephew. Maker she could not fail, she would not fail him. 

When Mia took Finn, Emily held her sister tight. “I love you, and I want you to be happy, you know that right?” Evelyn nodded. Emily held her sister's face in her hands “it will happen for you Eve, I know you're happy for me, but I also know the gnawing in your gut too. It will happen. When we get back to Skyhold jump on that old man and ride his brains out. If anyone deserves a week in bed it's you two.”

It was Dorian’s turn to hold Finn, he held the boy in front of him, his hand behind his head and under his bum. The two just looked at each other, Fin’s little pink toes wiggling. Dorian pulled the wee one into his chest and cuddled the little guy in his arms winking at Emily and Cullen “you two make beautiful babies.”

Cullen and Emily were staying with his parents for a week. Cullen told Evelyn to forget he was even part of the inquisition until they returned to Skyhold. Laughing she looked at him “When was the last time you took a vacation Commander?” Looking down at his Son in his Wife’s arms. It's something I think every single one of us should do more often. We will be better fighters for it, when I get back I'm going to put the soldiers on a rotation, allowing them down time.” Evelyn touched his arm “sounds like a great plan brother.” Taking a deep sigh asking the question no one wanted to answer. “He will be there by now, in the dungeon, what do you want me to do?”  
It was Emily that spoke this time “Don't do anything till we get back, I need to… I need to see him, I need to know why? Please, Evelyn, I need to know why.” She nodded “he will be kept for judgment until you return.”

Closing the door when they were too far down the path to watch Cullen sighed, for the first time in a very long time. He was just Cullen, he wasn't in armor, he wasn't commanding troops. he was sitting on his parents front porch holding his infant son watching the sun set, His Mabari hound at his feet, who they discovered if you put Fin in a basket with a handle to carry around, Ginger will tote him for you. He could hear his wife and mother making dinner together his dad was dozing in the chair next to him. Life was pretty near, perfect in the Rutherford house.


	8. Cullen and Emily Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Judgement Day

They had a wonderful week just being a family, Emily was falling into the role of mother beautifully, but she had a shining example all week of how to do it. Finn was a great baby he ate well, that helped him sleep well, which meant his parents slept well. Little did they know that when he started to snuffle and fuss in the night when most babies would have woken up. Ginger would rock him back to sleep, in his cradle.

It was time to end their vacation and head back to Skyhold, for the first time in his life Cullen didn't want to put on his armor. He looked back at his wife in their bedroom, she was humming to their son as she fed him. It was perfect, they were perfect. Cullen wanted more of these days picking up his chest piece looking at it … “I want less of these days” Emily looked up questions creasing her eyes, he could see she was worried about him. Kneeling beside her, “when this mess is over when it's all done. I… I don't think I want to be a soldier anymore.” He kissed Finn’s head, leaned in pressing his lips to Emily’s. 

She ran her thumb over his lower lip, “Cullen, wherever you go we will follow, I will say the idea of you not being a soldier, makes me happy. Far less danger doing, well anything else.” Finn added his opinion with a loud belch, Cullen looked at his son shocked “Maker that sounded like it came from your toes, my boy.” Emily was patting his back over her shoulder, “you should hear him fart.” Cullen couldn't hold back a laugh “That's my boy.”

She wasn't ready to sit a horse yet and the jostling of Finn would make him cranky. Thankfully her sister had the foresight to send a carriage for them when Cullen sent word they would be returning today. 

Gingersnap lopped alongside the carriage, Cullen was riding in full armor at a slow place so they could chat through the window. Finn was sound asleep in his woven basket, Emily.. Emily was teasing her husband as much as she could even though it had only been a week since their son was born, and she was in no shape for sex. She still loved how she could make him crazy, tonight they would be in their own rooms, in their own bed once their son was taken care of. Emily decided that mommy should pay daddy a little TLC. 

It was bittersweet seeing Skyhold, she was standing proudly on her mountain top waiting to wrap them in her warmth and protection, but within her belly she held… him. Emily knew she would have to deal with him sooner rather than later. 

They were met with great enthusiasm everyone wanting to meet Finn. Finally making it to their suites she settled the baby next to his dad. Cullen was already engrossed in reports and a couple week's worth of everything. Although her desk, having been away a month wasn't looking much better. Kissing his cheek, “I'm going to go see about dinner and bringing food up to us for the night so you can get your work done, will you be ok if I leave him with you? He’s fed.” Cullen nodded barely looking up “We will be fine love.”

She all but ran down the stairs to the dungeons, nodding to the guards when they opened the doors to let her through. He was in the very last one, he looked horrible, her heart wrenched seeing him like this, her once proud best friend.

Standing next to the bars she whispered his name Ry? he didn't move she spoke a little louder “Rylen?” still nothing, Maker was he dead? “Rylen!” his head lifted and his eyes blinked as if she was shining a light into them licking his cracked lips “Emily?” She stood there her arms crossed, watching him fall back on the stone slab. “Go back to your husband Emily, there is nothing here for you, let me die ending my torment.” He turned his back to her pulling the threadbare blanket over him. Charging the bars she grabbed them shaking them, screaming at him “Rylen Faulkner you will not shut me out, you fucking owe me answers, how could you do this to me? how could you drug me, kidnap me, use my feelings for you against me?” she was crying hot angry tears as she clung to the bars each word more a desperate plea then the last “ANSWER ME DAMN YOU!” Screaming as she shook the bars. 

he got up slowly and faced her standing in his cell, walking to where she stood “What I owe you? what I owe you?” he was pacing like the caged animal he was his hands flailing wildly as he spoke. “I fucking loved you, I love you still, I probably always will.” 

Her voice full of pain “you say you love me, then how could you do this to me, you were my best friend Ry, you owe me an explanation.” Tears coursing down her face. He stopped and stared at her, the cords in his neck flexing in anger bellowing the words at her “You were mine in every way that mattered, we almost made love more than once, we had plans. You were supposed to be mine, that is supposed to be my baby. Then he swoops in at the very end and you tossed me aside, everything we had. It meant nothing to you, and now you're his, it burned my very soul every night. At adamant, I would lay awake thinking of you in his arms, I couldn't breath. Then when we get back, we discover you were hurt because of him! he did naugh even protect you. Maker, I was so scared and livid at the same time. All I could think of when I begged your sister for a transfer was If you had been my wife, nothing would have harmed you.”

 

He was pacing, hands behind his head almost frantic “You Lass, you should be mine, I know I was wrong, what I did was stupid, but I thought if you just gave me a chance to show you what our life could be like, then maybe you would change your mind. Lass, it was the best month of my life holding you loving you, spending time in the market, brushing your hair by the fire, holding you in my arms as you fell asleep. Maker when they take my head, my last thought will be it was worth it because for one brief moment, you were mine and we were happy. 

He put his hand over hers on the bars. “Do naugh cry for me, Lass. I cannaugh stand to see you cry. I will meet the Maker knowing you are happy, even if it’s not with me.” Sobbing she couldn't see for the tears “You are my best friend, at times when I had no one else to turn to, and now, now you will die because you loved me, you bastard I learned to make fish and egg pie for you. How could you betray me like this Ry, you drugged me, is that why you wouldn't make love to me?”

He nodded and turned away “Lass believe me I wanted to, it was a powerful need most nights, your warm lush body pressed into mine, not doing anything about it. My plan was to have a solid month possibly two with you, taking the herbs. Then having you stop, when they wore off I hoped that you would realize that you really did love me and that you wanted the life we had. It was a risk I was willing to take, and I lost.” She shook her head “you stupid fool, now you're going to lose your life just for one month with me.” his hands closed over hers again his eyes begging her to understand. “I didn't do it out of jealousy or spite, I did it because I love you so damn much, that one month was worth it. Emily if I could go back to the day I kidnap you and have the chance to make a different choice, I would still do it, over and over. Even knowing that I’m going to die because of that choice I still choose it. Emily, it was the best month of my life, and I don't regret it.”

She couldn't do it anymore, she couldn't stand here, it hurt her heart too much. After everything part of her still loved him. She nodded and turned to leave, his voice calling after her “I hear you had a son?” Stopping without looking back, her voice shaky “yes he was born a week ago.” Rylen’s reply was softer “I'm sure you and Cullen will be wonderful parents.” She didn't respond she just left, knowing that tomorrow would be a horrible day.

Returning to their suite with a basket, she had debated telling Cullen or no about her visit with Rylen, she figured it would end up in a report sooner or later so best come from her. Smiling at the sight of her Husband, with their newborn son cuddled into his chest while he read reports. Cullen looked up and grinned at her return, “he wasn't crying but I needed to hold him” She nodded, fidgeting with a hala statue on his desk, “I need to tell you something.” Sitting back in his chair his hand rubbing Finn’s back “Oh?” She nodded unable to look at him “I, I just came from seeing Rylen.” Cullen nodded “I see, are you ok? do you want to talk about it?” She looked up at him shocked “You're not mad?” Cullen looked at her funny “Should I be mad? did you release him? or have a special visit with him?” Emily gasped shocked “Maker no! I just needed answers, I needed to know why, how he could have done that to me.” Cullen nodded “and did you get those answers?” She nodded. 

Cullen stood up slowly and pulled her into his arms, still holding their son. Kissing her temple “I love you, I need you to understand that Rylen’s choices were his and his alone, you did nothing to provoke them. You are not to blame for his choices, I know you feel sorry for him, but it is not your fault.” 

Nodding she hugged him kissing his lips slowly. Cullen stepped back from her searching her eyes, she stuck her tongue at him. Grinning he kissed her again “there's my girl, How about you feed our son, I will lock the door for the night, we can picnic near the fireplace. When he came back from locking up, he was caught short by the sight of her sitting in just her smalls on a blanket by the fireplace with Finn enjoying his dinner. Cullen laid down beside them caressing her leg watching, he unpacked the food and made bite size pieces he fed her while she was feeding the baby.

At the war council meeting the next morning Finn was a rock star each of his aunts were dying to hold him.

Evelyn brought up the topic no one wanted to touch “so Rylen’s judgment is set for… well when we walk out that door, I heard you visited him yesterday Em?” She nodded, “I talked to him yes, he’s ready to die for his choices.” Cullen looked at her “But are you ready for him too? there are other options.” Evelyn nodded “true we could do exile or imprisonment.” Emily shook her head “Exile is just asking for it to happen again, imprisonment, he’s a good man and deserves better than that.” Evelyn nodded, “I will make it quick then.” Leliana looked at Emily “Sam wants to be there, do you?” She nodded slipping Finn back into her sling, “I don't know why, but I feel like I need to be there.” Evelyn wrapped her arm around her sister, “well, let's get this done.”

The hall was full when Rylen was brought before the Inquisitor. Cullen read the charges Emily stood beside Sam. Just before Evelyn passed judgment she asked if he had anything to add. Rylen stood “I do your worship, First I want to apologize to you and Cullen for the worry I caused when I kidnaped Emily, and to the rest of her Skyhold family I'm sorry as well. But I'm not Sorry I did it. Emily and I discussed the why’s and what ifs yesterday, no need to rehash those. I am ready to accept my fate, and I do it with one request.” Evelyn nodded “and that would be.” Rylen looked at Cullen “Keep her safe and love her well Brother, I give my life for her.” Cullen looked at him for a moment a thousand venom tipped words itching to spill from his lips, but in the end the only one they would hurt is Emily, biting back the bile he met Rylen’s eyes “I will, and as would I, my brother.” 

Before Evelyn could speak the doors to the main hall were slammed open and Fenris’s voice was echoing around the walls. “Solas did it he found her, I need your help!!” He was carrying the mage in his arms, he was awake but weak.

Dorian was filling him with healing energy, as he spoke to the inquisitor. “I didn't find Hawke but I found the part of the fade she is or was in, I don't know what’s in there if you remember it was pretty awful last time, so I need your help Evelyn and any able bodied soldier you can spare.

His voice interrupted the chaos “I volunteer to go your worship, and if a sacrifice must be made like last time to get you all out, I volunteer to make it. I beg you take my sword and use me to bring her back, My love is lost to me, but if I can give one person back thiers, I have to try. My life is forfeit any way, this at least makes it count.” Evelyn looked at Emily and Cullen they both nodded. Evelyn called out “Ok Rylen, myself, Solas, Fenris who else.” Varric called out “can't let you go all heroic on me and not be there to have the story for my book.” two warriors two mages and a rogue, I think we have a party boys, will you run if I unchain you?” Rylen laughed “run where? No your worship I will not run” he looked at Emily and Cullen “Lass Motherhood suits you, may I see the lad?” Cullen was the one who picked his son up and strode over to the chained man, holding him up so Rylen could see Cullen introduced them “this is Finn William Rutherford.” Rylen smiled at the baby, sadness in the corners of his eyes “Finn, take care of your momma, and know that there is a person you will never meet again that loved you like a son before you were even born.” 

When they were all assembled to leave Emily rushed up to Fenris and handed him a bag “in there is clothes for Hawke, and stuff for her and the baby. We will have rooms ready for when you bring them hm Fenris.” He hugged her in his stiff Fenris fashion. Emily Hugged her sister, Solas, Varric when she found herself standing in front of Rylen she couldn't help it she hugged him too he kissed her cheek and whispered “I will love you forever.” She replied “I forgive you.”

They stood their as they watched them ride out, Praying they all would come back with Hawke and the baby.


	9. Cullen and Emily Chapter 7

The worst part about being left behind was the waiting, they had been gone for over a week, each passing minute was harder than the last. The heat was making everyone punchy, Cullen had Finn in a sling or in a basket that Ginger carried around, following him for a few hours every day just to give his wife some down time to bath relax sleep. Which is why he was surprised when one of his men told him she was naked in the courtyard.

After about four days of heat Emily was done, she could fix cold add layers build a fire.. there was only so much she could take off and still walk around Skyhold. If one more person mentioned how hot it was, or how she must be warm in full leathers again she was going to cry. 

Cullen found her lying in the main courtyard where there was shade and a little breeze in her smalls, her leathers and daggers piled next to her she was just there in as little as possible to not be naked. Standing over her in full armor, he looked down “Umm Em what are you doing?”

She opens one eye and looks at him full of disdain 

"I’m fat, it's hot, and all you Skinny bastards tromping through here with your metal asses are only making me weep hot salty tears. Move to Skyhold they said ... it’s in the mountains and cold they said .. SOLAS YOU LIAR!!”

Cullen chuckles at her “come on Emily let’s get you inside” making her get up, as she takes his hand, pulling her to her feet she mutters "I hate you so bad right now." Ginger picked up Finn, their son in a basket being toted around by the happy Mabari, as she trotted after Cullen. 

her complaint was cut off by Leliana’s cry. “They have Hawke and a baby girl, they are on their way back, about a day out.” Hawke's things were moved into a larger room preparations were made for her and the baby, healers all on standby for any who needed it. Dorian and two other healers had ridden out to meet them as soon as he heard they were on their way back, just in case time was of the essence.

Now they stood there, waiting.

Cullen and Emily were feeding their son when the call rang out that they were spotted headed up the pass. She nodded to him to go, “Make sure they are ok, come back and tell me everything. I will join you as soon as he wakes up from his nap.

An hour later there was a knock at their door, thinking it odd because most people in this place just barged in. Opening the door, there was a frantic Fenris clutching a dirty pink blanket. “Emily, Cullen said you would know what to do. She won't stop crying, they say she's ok but malnourished and small. Please, Emily, I can't lose her Hawke can't lose her.” Emily ushered them in, taking the bundle from him, maker she was so light it made her infant son seem heavy. Peeking through the layers, the sounds of protests coming from the center. 

Calmly Emily started talking to her in soothing mom voice “Well hello there pretty girl, it's not hard to tell who you're parents are now is it.” She had Fenris’s shocking white hair and Hawks bright blue eyes. Fenris was pacing behind her, snapping her fingers to get his attention “How is Hawke?” Shaking his head “physically she's ok other than the after effects of giving birth in the fade, but her mind she's ok one minute then the next it's like she's trapped there Cullen is with her helping her right now. But she made me promise to take care of our daughter. Emily, I have no idea what I'm doing can I just leave her here with you?” 

Emily looked up at the scared elf shaking her head “No, but you can stay here with me and learn. She needs you, they both need you to do this. Hawke for her piece of mind and this little one so she knows that Daddy is here.” 

She could see his resolve solidifying as he nodded “ok, what do I need to do?” Emily rubbed his shoulder. “Let me feed her, you go bathe and change into, well not armor. When you get back together we will bathe her, diaper her, and clothe her, by then she should be ready to nap.” Fenris shook his head, “oh she doesn't nap, she just cries,” Emily winked at him, “well then won't you be the hero to your wife when you present her with a sleeping daughter.” he nodded and gave her a small grin, before he could leave Emily called out “Fenris, what is her name?” Caressing the side of the baby's cheek with reverence he said, “Ariela.” Looking up at Emily, “I will be right back ok?” she shooed him out go do your thing we will be just fine, I will leave the door unlocked so just walk in. 

Taking one of her sons blankets she undressed the tiny girl washing her face, Emily could tell that she was a fighter and so very hungry, leaving her naked, Emily pulled her tunic and breast band off settling into the rocking chair, beside her sleeping son. Ariela latched on ferociously, she could almost feel the baby shiver with happiness when the milk hit her tongue. Skin pressed to skin, she held her only stopping for burps and to switch sides. 

Fenris came back just as she was done, “perfect timing daddy, take that cloth over there and put it on your shoulder, now take her and rub her back it helps get the gas bubbles out, if you don't do that, she will get an upset tummy, and either be very upset or throw up.” Walking with her he patted softly and rubbed, Emily laughed when she heard the small belches and Fenris’s shock. Calling to him “That's normal” Re-dressing, as she filled a small tub dropping a heat rune into it for a warm bath for the baby. 

She called Fenris and Ariela over explaining “ok so while being naked is wonderful for when she's feeding with Hawke, and laying on your naked chest, however Babies leak, like all the time, be thankful she's a girl and you won't get peed on in the face like poor Cullen every time he changes Finn’s diaper. 

She showed him how to bathe his daughter, the squeals and coos coming from her now were much more pleasant then the screams. Emily grinned watching as the brooding Elf fell in love. She showed him how to diaper, and in true baby fashion before they even had her clothes on her how to change a soiled diaper. She gave him little tips that the midwives had given her on things to look for. They brushed her hair and even stuck a ribbon in the fine white locks. He like Cullen was a swaddling expert having such strong hands, placing her in the crib next to Finn who had slept through it all. Both of them looking down at their sleeping children Emily smoothed back her son’s unruly locks “Someday when they are teenagers were going to tell them about this moment and they will be mortified.”

She squeezed his hand, “Go see to your wife, tell her Ariela's sound asleep with a boy already in her bed, come check on us in about two hours.”

She took the opportunity to clean up, even napping waiting for them to wake up. Cullen and Fenris came to checked on them. Finn was laying on his side blinking trying to focus on the new weird shaped thing in his bed, yawning smacking his lips he was looking for his momma. Before he could wake up his bunk mate Cullen scooped him up and took him over to Emily. 

Feris was hovering waiting for his daughter to wake up, he hadn't a lot of opportunities to hold her, Emily smiled as Finn latched on covering herself so the elf didn't faint. She called to him “Fenris, she's yours for keeps, you can pick her up if you want to, you know that right?” gingerly he reached in scooping her like Emily had shown him, he was holding her in front of him when she opened her blue eyes, blinking at him grinning wiggling her little hands out of the blanket wiggling her fingers at him. He brought her to his face listening to her coos as she touched his cheeks and squealed with glee. She was so tiny it was hard to believe she was almost two months old. 

He spoke soft words of love to her, as he cradled her in his arms, whispering promises and pledges in languages few understood. They all heard the sob from the door, Hawke stood they're watching her Husband fall helplessly in love with another girl, Fenris never taking his eyes off his daughter cradled her against him holding his hand out to Hawke. He pulled her tight against him, tears in his eyes whispering “Thank you for loving me.” She looked infinitely better than she had when he last saw her, but her eyes were still gaunt and haunted, she was so malnourished from trying to feed her daughter that her body had taken a beating. To Fenris though, she was the most beautiful sight in the world, kissing her cheek as he held her against him “I love you, thank you for this gift.”

Ariela was getting hungry, Hawke looked upset shaking her head. I can't feed her yet, Tears streaming down her face as she crossed her arms over her full breasts. Emily called to her. “Marin, bring your daughter and come sit next to me.” Handing Finn to Cullen to burp. “here is where our modesty goes out the window, take your shirt off. Boys if this makes either of you uncomfortable leave.” 

Cullen and Fenris looked at each other for confirmation that it was ok to stay, an unspoken agreement between them as their wives sat together topless. Emily showed Marin what she wanted to do, having Ariela latch on to her left breast while Marin held her close Ari was looking at her momma as she nursed Emily was just the supply for now.Fenris came and sat behind his wife holding her playing with Ari’s hand as she drank making her little grunting noises you could almost see the healthy pink spreading through her as the nourishment filled her tiny body. 

When everyone was full changed, and surprisingly awake Cullen and Fenris took the babies playing with them, so their wives could relax nap and freshen up. Hawke needed to talk to someone, and for whatever reason she needed that someone to be Emily. 

The Boys had a couple hour window before bellies would be empty again, so Cullen showed him how to put Ariela in a sling heading out they went to show her off about Skyhold.

When the door closed Emily looked at her friend “have you had a bath?” Hawke chuckled “why do I stink? I had one when we first got back to wash the dirt off. But the healers were chomping at the bit so it was rushed ” Emily made a disgusted noise pulling her with her to the tub room filling it full of water dropping two runes in it to make it steaming then pouring scented oils of lavender and eucalyptus in it. Pointing to Hawke, I don't know about you but after giving birth I have zero modesty if it bothers you I will go, though if not I would like to stay and wash your hair. Personally all problems can be discussed in the tub, makes crying easier too and maker if anyone deserved a good cry it is you. 

Hawke moaned as she slipped into the steaming water, feeling her body soak in the heat and oils, Maker she had thought she would never have this again. 

Leaning back as the other woman washed and lathered her hair 4 times to finally get it clean. Emily was pulling a comb through it when Hawkes' voice started off shaky. At one point, Emily held a chamber pot for her to vomit in, as she remembered things she would rather forget. They hugged, they cried they shouted in triumph when she told of the birth of Ariela. The things she did to survive were shocking, heroic things, Hawke admitted she would have never fought that hard to survive if it hadn't been for Ari. 

When she was emotionally, exhausted, Emily let her soak in the hot water her hair was in a shiny braid, her eyes seemed a little less haunted sharing her burden. Emily Slipped out and ran to her sister room Evelyn and Blackwall were sitting together just reading when Emily knocked on the door “I need to borrow two of your dresses for Hawke she's been stuck in leathers and god knows what for months she needs to feel like a mom, pretty. Mine are all too big for her.” 

Evelyn hugged her sister and handed her new smalls breast bands shoes and two dresses. Emily hugged her sister back thanking her, “you should come see her and the babies soon.” Running back to her room Hawke was just getting out of the tub. Emily held up the dresses and things. “How about we commission you new leathers, and burn those ones. For now let's be girls, I think you earned it.” Fenris was shocked at the transformation in his wife when he returned she was sitting having tea laughing, Maker she was laughing, he had feared he would never hear that sound again. Finn was still fine Ari was getting fussy so Emily took her and like she had done it a million times latched the little girl onto her breast. Hawke held her hands out to Cullen. “Maker I need a baby to hold, let's see this fine Gentleman.” Holding Finn, she laughed “Maker! what are you feeding him he's huge!” Emily grinned “the same thing I'm feeding yours, and you will be feeding her in a week once we get good food flowing through you.” the two women held hands “Welcome Home, Hawke, you made it, the two of you are proof that love does conquer all.”

It took a good week of Emily feeding Ari before Hawke felt her milk was good enough, in that week the little girl gained 4 lbs and was thriving. She continued to do so after she started feeding from her mom again, growing like a bad weed. Emily missed feeding the little white haired pixie, She loved how plump the baby was getting. Finn was no wilting flower either, Hawke and Emily would often spend the afternoons together letting the babies nap in the same crib. Finn and Ariela seemed to have a connection often times when their dads would come to check on them they would be snuggled into each other or at the very least touching. 

Fenris would tease Cullen that his daughter's virtue was in question, Cullen would just say Finn was like his dad, a sucker for a pretty face. Hawke elbowed Emily during tea nodding at their husbands, “they joke now, but when those two get caught making out in the mage tower at 16 there will be some explaining to do.” Emily laughed behind her hand, nodding. 

It took her almost 5 months to ask Hawke, the two women had grown as close as sisters, in some ways she was closer to Hawke then even Evelyn. Clearing her throat as they watched Finn and Ari crawl around the room chasing Ginger, “Hawke, I know I told you what happened with Rylen, I’ve never asked anyone, but I need to know.” 

Hawke held out her hand squeezing Emily’s “He is gone, truly gone not stuck like I was, I saw it with my own eyes. He died a hero, in the end. The portal was closing, he threw Ari through it to Fenris, Just as I was about to leap through after her, the nightmare snagged me pulling me backwards. His last thoughts were of you, shouting “Tell her I love her and give her a hug for me.” Turning he lept at its mouth, that was just enough to distract it, I slipped through, but not before I saw the price of his sacrifice. He died almost instantly to give me a chance to do this.” Hawke pulled Emily into her arms, “I don't make excuses for what he did, or how he did it, It was wrong and stupid and selfish. In the end, his justification was Love, Love is powerful and that man loved you, till his last breath.” 

Emily hugged Hawke tight, “Thank You, it’s comforting to know he's gone, and not trapped. I know that sounds callous of me, but you of all people should know why I wouldn't wish that on anyone.”

Cullen’s shocked protest causing them to look at him. “Maker's Breath Fenris we walk in, your wife is molesting mine, and your Daughter is kissing my son.”

Nodding with a huge grin on his face Fenris laughed “that's my girls.”


End file.
